Wednesday, November 24, 2010

i want her to be my IDOLA

Prof Dr Muhaya Haji Mohamad

i heard her voice again today in IKIM.FM talking about "Islam Itu Indah"..she gave a lot of inspiration to me..

i said 'again' cause, about 3 weeks ago, while driving to UM, i heard her talking in IKIM about " Islam Itu Indah in Children Version" to teach our kids about dicipline to Islam, to behave as Muslim and Muslimah, etc...and she really caught my heart with her simple explanation, full of beautiful words, loaded with advices and related to Al-Quran verses..and i was impressed, very much impressed with her guides and suggestions on how to become better muslim..she reminds about being a humble person in whatever career we are because of Allah, be beneficial to others..thats why we live in Allah's world...

and today, she talked in focusing on how to become a successful medical student .... still a lot of points i got eventhough i am not a medical student, because for me, her content of talk was so close to any muslim and muslimah which have to become a better muslim-with-career..

she always relates the advices to Allah's command, Al-Quran and stressed that if we want to be a better person in anything we do as a doctor a teacher, etc..we need to be a better muslim first..

she said she always reminds her medical students to not being arrogant (sombong) when becoming a doctor, treat the patients with respect and empathy, if possible, gave the patients motivation to be close to Allah, remind them to not forget to solat, because when we take good care of what Allah's command, Allah will take care of us..she emphasized that if any of her students become arrogant and look at the patients as somebody who gave burden( membebankan) to them, she will not HALALKAN any knowledges (ilmu) that she taught them...

because for her, patients are somebody special that have been chosen by Allah, perhaps, Allah loves them more, thats why Allah gave them some tests to rise their level di sisi Allah, she said "who are we (she meant 'the doctor') to treat them badly, arrogant to them, while Allah always look at them with full of love"...masyaAllah, i never thought in that way....

and personally as a lecturer myself, i stunned with her saying that as a lecturer to medical students at HUKM she always be helpful, friendly to her students..she said if we help somebody today, meaning helping other people's daughters and sons today to be successful in their studies, InsyaAllah, somebody else will help our children, our grandchildren in their studies in so touching ..

InsyaAllah i will apply her advices in my work...

she also gave some ideas on how to make our live more easier in getting more rezeki, getting success in work and study, getting a good spouse...are:-

1- to be humble to people
2- respect other people no matter how ugly, how smelly, how worst their condition
3- always gave something to the poor people (bersedekah),
4- always pray (doa)...

and not to forget

5- always obey Allah's commands..perform good solat, cover the aurat,
6- be nice to your parents and the older people

insyaAllah, Allah will look at us with full of love and help us in reaching our dreams

As a head department (pakar mata) at HUKM ( if i am not mistaken) she always make sure that the stafs under her supervision will perform solat, if you didnot perform solat, don't work with me, she said...

and surprisingly she is from Kuala my...i am so proud of her...:P

the address below is her website address:we can find her background details, her work details and what her latest activities, etc...

she is constantly invited by IKIM.FM on tuesday / wednesday around 10 am to give a talk on "Islam Itu Indah" in different perspectives, careers, views, etc

and also she have her own show at Astro Prima on Friday at 7pm,repeat on Saturday at 6.30pm and sunday at 930am...

i will try to follow her shows and talk in tv and radio to get more beautiful tips, guidances, motivations from her talk insyaAllah ..she is definitely an idola...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


its not about ghost, or haunting story..

as a normal human being created by Allah SWT, we have our bright and dark moments in our life, for the bright memories, its good to hold them as a motivation for us to face the future, but what about the dark memories...??

some of it, we managed to let go, but some stay in our heart and mind, no matter how hard you try to forget, to resist but they still there...

last night i saw my sister who now divorced downloaded her wedding and engagement pictures which happened long ago in FB, at that time something click in my mind " poor her, looks like she couldn't let go that memories yet..the time when everybody were dressed you with a beautiful dress, make you beautiful, talk to you nicely, teasing you about you and your future husband, well i do understand because that moments were the best ever happen to any woman...but for her it was a sad ending and she just won't let it go..

she is a good sister, always there for her other siblings, especially me and my eldest sis..most of the time to help with the kids, she is there when i am sad, i can just call her and go to her house for a time break..she is a good daughter to our parent, being very helpful , she is a good auntie to her nieces and nephews..quite popular..

i wish she will be strong and move on, plan her own life for a better future, no matter she will remarry or not, i really hope she will not look back..because in my personal humble matter hard we try to seek for man's love, we have to love our self first and i definitely don't think by looking at those pictures will help her to love herself, i am afraid she will always looking back and tired to move on..Allah please give her strength and guide her to seek for your love, YA Allah amminnn..i pray to Allah that she will meet someone who really appreciate her as she is and will guide her to reach for Allah's love , because i always believe Allah knows best..

and then i wondered, do i have any bad moment/s, what was my dark moment/s..surprisingly i can't remember any!!! am i so lucky not having any bad i don't think so..i have some actually..after thinking about it for a while yess i do have some bad moments in my life :-

in 1996

1- my leg was hurt badly while moving my stuffs at my first rented house at Bangi - i worked at MARA college at BAngi after graduates..(my very first job:))..and i couldnot manage to go back to terengganu because of that..and to add to it, my ex-roommate at that time don't even bother about my situation ..she was so mean,pitiless..hemm..i called my mom and cried on the phone saying that i couldnot get on the bus because i can't walk, and i remember at that time my eldest sister was there, and she cried too...

2- i was staying with this cruel mean roommate for about 3-4 months, and she was treated me very badly, i tried to win her heart, respected her and listened to everything she said, but it seems not enough to her, anytime she was in bad mood, she scolded me heartlessly like someone who has no value at all, she treated me like rubbish..yess that is the right words for that moment..i really hate it until now..and yess i can't let it go yet.. i know that at that time i am still like a kid who was not mature in my actions and doings, and she was away too senior than me , my age at that time was 23 and she was almost 30 ..but as far as i am concern i always respect her and had done nothing wrong..but i always not good for a roommate and also officemate , i felt so unhappy but don't know what to do..until one day i decided to run from that house, i left the house after telling another housemate to settle all the bills on my behalf, gave her some money, and i took half-day leave and packed all my clothes, and heading to my sister's house at Kg Baru...

at that time i felt so free and alive..i will NOT allowed anyone like her touching my soul like that again, it won't happend again..i felt like i am back, me..the one and only me who always happy go lucky, smiling, energetic.. was backkk...

i realised that , at that moment, she had taken all my happy + good soul.. she sucked it all and change me to a person who full of sadness, not-confident, always feel afraid and always thinking that i am a bad person...

but after i managed to run from her and found happiness at my sister's house, i am glad that all the horrible feelings were gone in a blinking of eye...i got myself back , even though i am still working at the same place but i am happier, i got rid of her, even sometimes we met because of meetings and discussions on students welfare..i just act normal like nothing happened..i am happy that i am strong enough to not ever let her ruined my beautiful life ...

2-in the same year while staying at my sister's house - i had been a hand-bag-snatcher victim while walking at dawn from the house to the bus stop to catch a bus to Bangi ..i need to get the earliest bus from kg Baru to Kotaraya and from Kotaraya to its still dark at that moment...

3-in 1999, i lost my first baby after 8 months married, i lost the baby in my 2 months pregnancy, after waiting for quite sometime...anyway when looking at my 3 kids' faces now i know that, Allah knows what best for me...

what else...i can't recall any other bad moments..thats all i guess..but i admit i still can't let go the first (number 1) moment.. but i hope one day, my heart will widely open to really forgive her in whatever she did to me..i still can remember some of her mean and cruel words..that make me felt like i am useless..for her..its HARD to forgive and to forget...

i won't look back at that bad moments, i left them with HER who created the BAD MEMORIES

like what my younger brother said as a comment for my sister entry in her FB:-
jangan pandang belakang, ada atu..hihihi....:))) third moment (number 3), i always believe in Allah SWT, and Qadha' & Qadar..and with my 3 kids i have now, its like a power eraser which deleted all of that memory completely, Allah replace the lost baby with these 3 adorable kids who are the light of my life now..

so what about the good memories, the bright moments..oww i can't list them here, i have a lootttt of good will take forever:P...but i hold to them tightly, i bring them together with me now and hopefully until i die as the precious gifts from Allah SWT..knowing that Allah knows best and Allah loves me...

i pray to Allah SWT for Your Blessings ANd Love..Please open my mind and heart to be strong to accept all the challenge moments in my life and please help me to be a BETTER ME as a muslimah, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend ...i am so weak and lost without Your guide and love..You are the One and Only ..Lailahailallahh..Muhammadurrasulullah...



Thursday, October 28, 2010

jess and rory

aku layan youtube lagu M.Nasir semalam saja nak menghiburkan hati yg kacau..pastu teringat citer Gilmore Girls(GG).. karekter Jess and Rory...aku google nama ni dapatlah banyak clips the moments of jess and rory, siap ada buat ranking top 15 lagi...

GG ni kisah Lorelai dgn anaknya Rory(si comel) duduk kat Stars Hollow Hartford hidup secara sederhana walaupun keluarga Lorelai ni kaya raya..tapi tak sesuai dgn jiwa kisah suka duka hidup dua beranak ni lah...kisah cinta,persahabatan,semangat,kehidupan.tak terlalu serius,spontan sinis selamba...dulu time asyik layan citer ni kat tv, suami aku selalu komplen..apalah tengok citer camni, dahla karekter dia cakap cepat cepat...memang semua pelakun dia especially Lorelai, Rory,Luke,Jess cakap laju dan menyampuk pun laju2,suami aku kata tak faham...hihihi...
aku paling suka citer GG ni masa time Rory dgn Jess sedang develop love story mereka..sangat menarik,natural,kelakar,selamba,comel,menyentuh hati,gila-gila,ego.....

~suka gambar nihh~

so bila tgk beberapa clips semalam..senyum i miss the series...kalau bleh aku nak cari cd yg tunjuk babak diorang dua orang ni je masa bergaduh, bercinta, pisah,jumpa balik, masa control ayu + macho, masa tunjuk ego masing2...comel,selamba,kelakar..dan sebenarnya aku percaya pernah berlaku kat sapa sapa je .....time muda2 dan mentah dalam soal hati...
aku duk pilih plih mana babak yg paling aku suka..aku takleh decide cause almost all scenes are unique and hv its own its nice to know yg aku boleh download je clips scene jess and rory ni bila bila aku rasa nak tgk dan miss karekter diorang...:)))

M disease

semalam jiwa ada sikit kacau..sket je..dah tua tua ni takleh fikir lebih lebih sangat, nanti makin cepat tua...muhammad tido awal belum pukul 9pm...kakak berdua selepas ngaji dan buat kumon aku bagi diorang layan tv...aku...?? mula mula layan study, yelah seminggu dua ni asyik susah hati sebab rasa lost, baca jurnal pun cam tak ada kesudahan, konon baca sebab nak edit proposal, entah apa yg nak diedit..pun aku tak tau..tapi sebenarnya bukan tak tau, masalahnya aku yang tak benarkan diri aku tau..heh apa punya ayat daaaa...

actually aku sedang dilanda penyakit M**** yg sangat kritikal..M*** dalam semua aspek...ha kau...tu dia..aspek apakah yg dimaksudkan dalam ayat 'semua aspek' itu..??

bagi keadaan aku sekarang ni semua aspek itu meliputi:-

1- aspek aku sebagai seorang pelajar, aku Malas nak membaca/study,membuat kerja kerja ilmiah untuk membaiki/menambah ilmu pengetahuan..(waahh tulis ni pun dah rasa cam ilmiah gitu ehemm..:)

2- aspek aku sebagai emak dan wifey...aku Malas nak buat keje keje ke'ibuan' dan kerumahtanggaan ni..anak ajak sembang aku ngangguk je, husband citer2 aku iyekan aje, dapur rumah pun tak berasap..heheh..muhammad suruh cebukkan berak, aku mengeluh panjangg..kain dah basuh selonggok buat tak nampak je...aduiii...

3-aspek aku sebagai driver di jalan..aku Malas nak bagi signal kalau tukar lane, orang cut lane aku , aku malas nak hon, nampak debu kat karpet kereta, malas nak sapu/buang..

4- aspek aku sebagai manusia yg perlu makan minum, malasnya nak makan, apatah lagi masak,(wink**) makan pun malas...mandi ala kadar je asal badan rasa segar sket..takda beriya mem'berus' bagai macam biasa....

5-aspek sosial aku...malas nak bertegur sapa, cth: gi lab kat UM pun aku hai hai sorang dua, pastu sumbat telinga layan laptop...orang keliling bersembang bagai nak rak aku buat muka toye je...terserempak dgn student biasanya suka senyum, ni boleh pulak aku corner patah balik tukar jalan, sebab malas nak beri senyuman...

huuh apa lagi, pendek kata memang penyakit M sedang melanda aku dengan GIAT SEKALI sekarang, dan kerana sebahagiannya melibatkan orang lain maka ada orang yg nampaknya telah menunjukkan tanda2 TIDAK SUKA dengan penyakit aku ini....jiwa pun kacau...

aku pun frust dan tak suka dengan penyakit ni, tapi aku nak buat camane..(ni ayat org suka berdalih...lantaklah!!!) doa doalah moga moga tak berpanjangan..

kepala tengah fikir apa agaknya yg boleh jadi ubat supaya penyakit ni sembuh dan aku bertukar menjadi rajin..pls note , aku tulis "bertukar menjadi rajin" dan bukannya "KEMBALI menjadi rajin" kerana aku tau sebelum ni pun aku bukannya rajin sangat cuma ...TAK MALAS...:PP

so semalam sedang jiwa kacau, dan anak anak semua dah tidur, aku stopkan kerja study aku tu..dan mulalah menjelajah ke dunia youtube..mula mula cari video klip M.Nasir...layan lagu Mustika..fuhh bahagia...pastu teringat citer Gilmore Girls...

aku doa mohon pada Allah SWT tolonglah hapuskan penyakit M** ni...aminn

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

dapat dah

alhamdulillah, akhirnya penantian menjadi nyata..heheh..kisah beli kereta dgn ejen 'M' dah lepas dan tak di ingat dah camne bengangnya...sekarang dah dapat bendanya di depan mata..dan kerana adik pinjam kenari comel aku, maka akulah bermaharajalela menggunakannya sekarang..muahahahah..

tarikh ambik kereta, eh dah lupalah..ow ye sabtu lepas which means 16 oct 2010..sebulan sebelum birthdate ..well tu suami aku katala..aku tak ingat pun, baguslah dia ingat kannn..:P

2 hari ni struggle masuk parking..tapi oklah sebab depan belakang ada sensor so bila agak2 terlebih muncung tu tak takut sangat sebab bunyi bingit tu akan warn aku cam reverse sensor juga...

bawak dia'best ' membayar nya..aduhh telan air liur 50 kali pun tak rasa hilang dahaga lagi..

harap suami berpuas hati ...duit simpanan dia dan duit kerja kat melbourne akhirnya dia dapat beli kereta idaman..okla kann..asal dia BAHAGIA..aku pun tummpangg bahagia hehehh..

ni gambar special utk adik noor..saja nak tau tahap ke'jeles'anmu iteeiiwwww..tunjuk bontot dulu yee..nx time ambik gambar lagi

apa apa pun, aku suka..nombor platenya cantik dan ada makna..hangus rm200 nak dapat nombor tu..what to do,sume benda nak kena ada duit..tapi duit bukan segala galanya..

nombor tak boleh tunjuk atas sebab2 keselamatan of course..

bagi aku ni memang kereta paling lawa pernah aku tengok, macam tak percaya dalam duduk kagum tengok kereta ni atas jalan, akhirnya dapat juga menjadi hal milik sementara..yelahh..dalam geran tulis "Hakmilik M**** Bank" sebab still under loan..

so kereta ni sebenarnya bukan hak kami lagi, status dia adalah = "kereta pinjam"


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

angels fall - nora robert

hepinya hati sebab dpt tgk citer ni kat tv hari ni..citer ni salah satu dari beberapa novel yg aku sempat baca kat melbourne..dan antara yg paling top.citernya sgt on tv..huihh excited..

reece the cook - heather locklear (betul ke eja)..
si brody - entah apa namanya..but same as describe in the novel..


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

M sbg salesman

dalam 2 hari berpuasa hari tu kami decide gi cari kereta, yela takkan nak pakai kenari kecik tu je..kena ada satu lagi yg selesa sket..

ni nak citer kisah seorg M sebg salesman kereta..
orgnya baik, sentiasa tersengih, aku dgn suami fikir waahh bagus ni mesra pelanggan je nampaknya..suami buat special request, nak deal dgn salesman M, lelaki so ni lah dia..

aku pun sedap hati la ni,langsung tak fikir tipikal,macam selalu orang cakap.. biasanya dgn org M susah nak dpt tepat pada masa, lembap buat kerja, tak mesra...aku dan suami cuba tak nak fikir cam tu..nak tolong bangsa la ni kununnya..

so lepas discuss2,pilih kaler segala, dia gerenti akan dapat sebelum raya..bila balik rumah selang sehari dua, ter'discuss' plak dgn suami, setuju nak tukar kaler, sebab tak nak nampak kotor la, dan berbagai alasan terbit..suami pun call balik dia ni, cakap boleh tak nak tukar kaler..

oohh dia balas balik, boleh no problem..sepatah tu kami pun senang hati lalalala...

ni dah hari selasa, lagi 2 hari raya, plannya esok rabu nak balik..2 hari lepas dia sms kata insyaAllah kereta keluar isnin so hari rabu boleh ambik..aku dah rasa tak sedap hati, rabu plan nak balik kampung dah, rabu baru ambik kereta, pukul berapa ambik kereta suami kata takpa, dia call, baru kejap tadi sebelum aku tulis entry ni suami call dia..dia kata kereta tak keluar isnin tapi baarruu keluar pagi KALAU SEMPAT PETANG RABU boleh ambik..

hahh hambikk kauuu..tanpa khabar berita lepas sms yg last tu dia dengan berlenggang kangkung senang hati cakap camtu..kalau tak sempat, khamis petang keluar, camne? kami ni nak balik kampung bila wahai encik salesman..pagi raya????

aku sebenarnya takda kisah pun kalau tak balik raya dengan kereta baru, bukannya nak tunjuk kat orang pun..aku boleh menagih simpati adik2 aku pinjamkan kereta diorang.hehehh..

yang aku bengang sikap salesman M ni...dahla asyik suami aku je yg kena call dia, cakap pulak sepatah sepatah macam ada emas dalam mulut, kalau tang dia asyik sms memanjang, cam tak berani call je...

wahai encik salesman M:-

kalaulah kau lebih ringan mulut dan explain sedetail detailnya setiap perkara ..kang ke senang keje kau dan keje aku???

aku tanya suami , ke sebab kita tukar kaler jadi lambat??? well kalau sebab tukar kaler lambat dapat, explainlahh kat kami ni, yg tak tau menahu proses yg terlibat, ni tak..bila tanya bleh tak tukar kaler..cehh jawab NO PROBLEM...

dia ni aku rasa, dia anggap customer ni pulak lagi arif hal proses kereta ni dari dia, tunggu biar kita tanya sebutir sebutir..masalahnya manalah aku tau nak tanya kau hapa wahai encik salesman MM wehhh..kau la tolong explain, kalau tukar kaler ni akibatnya cam ni cam tu kaa, ..apa kaa

ni memang geram sangat...suami kata, maybe dia takut kita taknak beli dengan dia, hangusla komisyen nya..tulaa..takut tak bertempat, cuba bersikap terbuka sikit jujur citer benda yang cam semua nak sorok sorok, bagitau no problem je...sekarang nahh biggg problem lahh, sebab dah rasa tak percaya kat dia..

suami call dia tadi, lepas dia dah bagitau semua dengan suara tersekat sekat, siap boleh tambah lagi, ooo en nak buat balik raya ye??...ayyoo memangla nak buat balik kampung sebab tu aku beli cepatt...tapi bukan masalah nak kena buat balik jugak kereta ni..aku dengan suami memang tak kisah pun, kalau dia terus terang bagitau, kereta ni tak dapat sebelum raya lepas en balik raya insyaAllah ada..takpe, boleh iktiar pinjm kereta adik....suami dah explain kat dia camtu, tapi dia kata boleh boleh no problem..

so kami takda la nak tanya adik2 lagi nak pinjam kereta ke apa ke...kalau dia explain betul2 senang boleh tanya adik2 cepat2, ni takut diorang pun dah ada plan lain ...

so aku cakap dgn suami, tolongla gi jumpa dia ni cakap tak yah susah susahla nak usaha sebelum raya, nanti kang entah apa apa jadi dgn kereta tu, yg dia janji kan utk kereta tu nanti hilang entah ke kami akan try tanya adik beradik utk pinjam kereta...lepas raya pun tak da hal bagi kami..

moral of the story...carilah salesman yg ringan mulut, biar banyak bercakap..takpa daripada dapat yg macam kami ni , kami yg kena fikir apa lagi nak tanya dia ni, kalau tak angguk geleng je kerja dia..lain sepatah sepatah..adussss..sakit jiwa raga di buatnya...sampai suami kata serik deal dengan bangsa M ni...tu aku tak nak komen sebab aku pun M kan.apa apa tercalit ke muka sendiri juga..

suami memang la lebih bengang sebab dia kerja line marketing juga dan dia totally different, selagi boleh explain dia explain, pegangannya anggap customer tak tau apa apa, dan kita kena bagi sebanyak mana infos supaya customer boleh buat keputusan yg bijakk..

so camane..adakah tidak bijak tindakan suami memilih salesman M ini, atau memang salesman ni yg tak bijak...heh

sekian..selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin

Sunday, August 29, 2010


lamanya tak jenguk blog...bersawang sawang sungguh..

aku dah settle down, ambik masa hampir 3 minggu, genap genap blna puasa balik dan dekat nak raya settle rumah sume..suka rasanya..walau hanya setahun di tempat orang ..cukuplah, tak kuasa dah nak meng'adjust' diri sendiri..

rasa nak ambik gambar rumah sebab ada langsir baru, ada bebrapa barang dah ubah..excited..tabah menjahit langsir 2 hari siap, last day nak bagi siap jugak jugak tido pukuil 3pagi, esoknya pasang ..lega dan puas hati..

dapur pun lebih elok sekarang banding sebelum aku fly dulu, yelah masuk sume masih bersih so aku berazam nak maintain..tapiu yg tak tahan nya..dalam bersih bersih pun, lipas berlambak lambak..eeiii geram betul..kat melbon satu sungut lipas pun aku tak jumpa..kat sini baru vsehari masuk rumah terus dua ekor say hiii..

camne nak buat...tapi tu benda kecik je la..yg penting aku rasa happy sebab dah balik dan macam mulakan hidup baru pula..

tak sabar nak balik raya...

Saturday, June 26, 2010

hlovate novels-a personal review

bila announce kat sini kata dah habis baca 2 novel hlovate, adik aku noor tanya pendapat aku dlm comment dia kat bawah tuhh...ow nak komen yeaaa..heheh NO COMMENT!!!...

ni ikutkan hati yg perasan cam artis, asyik org tanya opinion, no comment, no comment..tapi ngenangkan noor la yg bagi hadiah buku citer hlovate ni, introduce myself to the wonders of hlovate..well ni dia komen komen nya ..komen ni hanya dari seorang yg bukan penulis pro, cuma suka baca novel tapi bukan 'gila' baca novel macam adik aku yg bagi buku nih and kakak aku, ( dia dua org ni sama tahap 'kegilaan' baca novel)..aku?? sederhana saje, aku kan sederhana orgnya..yihaaa..(ok sudah bab perasan..)

apa tadi? oh ye.komen yeaa, komen..ehem ehem komennya adalah seperti di bawah:-

- aku suka bahasanya, bahasa yg mudah faham, macam natural talking yang mudahkan kepala aku terima maksud penyampaian citer..bukannya yg berbunga bunga sangat, macam.."mentari diufuk masih setia menyinarkan cahayanya, dan aku merenjis renjis air ke muka yang rasanya hangat di senggat mentari durjana"..oww sample ayat bunga seni sastera novel melayu ..aku baca dua ayat, terus pengsann maaaaaa...

-citer tentang masalah remaja tipikal, kurang perhatian, kasih sayg, tapi terror, cantik, popular..okaylah kot utk remaja, utk aku remaja tua ni rasa agak kurang significant, sebab bila diorg citer masalah dlm novel ni...contoh, mak ayah bergaduh..check!, ni biasa....lagi contoh, aku selalu kena banding dgn adik beradik lain, so aku suka lepak kat luar, malas dengar mak aku bebel, ..check lai sekali..sangat biasa...well memang kalau remaja masalah ni jelah kan?/ takkan masalah jaga anak, masalah dgn ibu mertuaku..tu tak sampai level lagi...

-part paling best, novel hlovate ni, suka relate pada ketuhanan, apa saja masalah, penyelesaian adalah kau kena dekatkan diri dengan Allah SWT, yang aku rasa amat bagus, dan sangat menarik, sebab hlovate boleh tarik ramai remaja utk dapat pengajaran yg betul bila mereka hayati citer ni.....aku rasa aku ada bukti yg paling dekat dgn aku pun...sekarang lebih suka baca buku ilmiah, ketuhanan, dengar nasyid, baju pun lebih sopan...bagus bagus bagus....hehe..teka siapakah anda..!!!

-aku suka sebab dapat penanda buku sebijik macam cover dan happy ending, aku tak suka sad ending, cam citer no wongs to fly yg aku baca dulu, berminggu termenung, takleh buat keje, over betul emosional aku time tu..

kesimpulannya, yelah budak remaja ni perlu bimbingan kekadang susah nak dapat dari ceramah agama, nasihat org tua, diorg tak dengar sangat, tapi kalau dari novel yg gila gila, boleh selitkan panduan berguna utk jadi insan hamba Allah yg lebih baik, mungkin lebih berkesan..

boleh simpan novel ni utk bacaan anak2 aku bila diorg remaja, dan boleh direkomenkan pada ibubapa yg punyai anak2 remaja..takyah tunggu diorg buat masalah baru nak sua kan novel ni, bagi je baca ..kalau diorg memang minat membacalaa..kalau minat main game cam anak aku ni..kena buat game hlovet laa pulak kot in future...haha

so noor harap berpuas hati, lagi sekali ni cuma PERSONAL review, tak da kaitan dgn yg hidup atau yg mati

ohye..hlovate ni kalau tak silap, student medic kat oversea, dah publish novel banyak..emm ada masa ekk belajar medic and buat novel lagi...heran heran :)

Friday, June 25, 2010

hlovate stories

aku dah khatam 2 novel hlovet...ada masa la katakannn..

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

balik malaysia 2

sampai tengganu hari 7 jun malam, terus sambar makan laksa tengganu yg memang kegilaan ku..Alhamdulillah, ummi yg memang prihatin bobona selera anaknya yg sorang ni..

dan start esoknya, sessi makan pun bermula selama dua minggu..apa yg aku nak makan hampir semua, berat badan memang naik..limmaaa KG..hah hebat betul..apa taknya makan 4-5 kali sehari dengan lemak tepu tak tepu, semua aku sapu, even gulai daging terengganu untuk kenduri kahwin pun aku dapat makan, eii best..takpe laa..

ada kawan tanya, " eh dah habis ke balik ni?? balik for good ke??...aku jawab, " oh belum habis lagi, baru 10 bulan, bukan balik for good, balik for FOOD!!!"..heh

dapat duduk kat kampung lama memang best, tapi disamping tu tetap kena buat juga keje study sket sket sebab balik dari malaysia ni aku kena struggle siapkan untuk confirmation , dateline nya 20july..

time nak balik melbourne sungguh rasa tak best macam langsung tak excited...beli barang pun sket sket je, cukup syarat je..tapi still kena kuatkan semangaat , kena ingat tanggungjawab , kalu tak mau aku cabuutt...heheh..

balik KL 18jun pakai kereta jal, thanks jal..19jun husband kursus, aku merewang dgn anak2 dan achiknya gi tengok toy stories 3.yg bestnya dapat tengok free kat e-curve kota damansara, tm-net taja utk customer dia tapi ramai tak datang, tetiba time aku terdongak2 cari kaunter nak beli tiket, cik kak tm-net ni datang offer tiket..Alhamdulillah, niat dari melbourne lagi kalau ada time and rezeki nak ajak anak2 tengok citer ni, sebab kat ausie, channel 7 tayang toy stories 1 & 2 back to back, promotion utk sequel dia... punya seronok dengar anak2 aku gelak..bahagia..last2 niat yg baik di balas free oleh Allah SWT...tiket free dengan package popcorn dan air coca cola sorang satu...toy stories 3 memang best, nak nak part si Buzz tu cakap spanish ngorat si jesse.. sebab tersalah adjust lepas kena change mode to demo oleh si bear jahat.., mak aaii gelak riuh satu panggung...anak2 aku memang enjoy sesangat..

pastu pekena kenny rogers then cari seluar panjang utk anak2 aku..kira macam tercapai maksudlaa, objective aku hari tu..kesimpulannya itu adalah hari best sebelum balik melbourne...hemmm.Alhamdulillah.. dan thanks a lot achik!! (tinie) sebab temankan kitorang..heheh

p/s:oh ye..privatised rupanya blog i, tersalah tekan kot masa adjust adjust dulu...dah public balikk

Monday, June 21, 2010

Balik Malaysia 1-

selamat sampai malaysia pada 6jun,pagi jam 7 lebih kalau tak silap, saat jejak kan kaki ke tanah tu, lepas turun flight, waahhh,rasa saayanggnya kat mesia nihh, macamla 10 tahun tak balik, patriotik tetiba heheh...tapi tersentap sekejap sebab beg luggage yg satu lagi tertukar dengan ammoi yg ke penang, tapi Alhamdulillah dapat balik keesokannya(malas nak citer panjang benda nihh..cuma membawa aura negatif saje)...walau mood memang down sekejap masa tu tapi tetap pekena mcdonald teruss..yg

pastu adik jal and his beloved wifeyy, julie datang ambik..masa ni dah dekat tengahari sebab sibuk menyettlekan hal beg tertukar tu..adik adik yg sporting habiss ini bawak kami makan sate kajang, di samping makanan sampingan yg lain laksa, roti john, mee sup..weii timaasihh bebanyak jal and sangat masa ni..rasa diri disayangi dan dirinduii...ngeee...:)

esoknya gi jumpa kenkawan di B212..bilik keramat..heh...seronok sangat, dapat lepas rindu..dalam bercerita kisah study masing masing, ada juga la, menitis airmata, sensitif wehh, akulah tu, sebenarnya aku rasa cam aku sorang2 kat melbourne ni, kalau buat kat mesia, for sure boleh gelak nangis sesama kenkawan aku ini..kenkawan yg the best in the world..memang rasa bersemangat balik bila dah jumpa kawan2 ni..ingat yg kami berada di medan perjuangan yg sama, susah senang memang normal dalam cuba sempurnakan misi..doa moga moga kita kuat untuk hadapi dugaan dan ditunjukkan jalan untuk mencapai kejayaan..amiin.

diorang kata blog ni diprivatised, emm tak perasan pulakk nanti check lah..

habis satu sesi entri balik entri balik malaysia di tganu pulak..makan makan makan

Monday, May 31, 2010

countdown- 5 hari lagi

first day this week, sampai uni pun agak lambat, dalam kepala dah takda fikir hal studi sangat, duk fikir apa nak buat balik, apa nak beli nak makan, bila nak jumpa kenkawan , etc...

tapi sampai je kat uni, bila start mengadap PC, momentum nak studi tu datang juga, Alhamdulillah..cuma ada beberapa perkara yang dah dirancang last week nak buat this week belum buat lagi..susah sket lah rasanya..nak nak kalau yg kena berurusan dengan org, nak tanya tanya org..hai..rasa susahnya la, kalau benda yg boleh deal sendiri sendiri tu rasanya takda masalah, yg nak kena baca, tulis, gubah, bla bla boleh buat dgn efisien, tapi bila bab bab nak kena jumpa irg tanya, explain, bagi feedback ni..rasa berat je nak buat, tapi memang nak kena buat juga kalau tak tak ada progress lah, sebab mostly, benda benda ni nak kena tanya org, minta org explainkan barulah dapat sambil sambil aku duduk tinjau tijau apa yg nak di isi dalam borang confirm, kepala pun ligat berfikir plan utk esok dan seterusnya sampai khamis...

moga2 aku dapat penuhi saki baki hari2 ni dengan keje yg berfaedah dan bukan dengan menangguh kerja..insyaAllah..kuatkanlah semangat aku, hilangkan perasaan malas dlm diriku ini, dan permudahkan lah urusan ku..YaALlah..amiin ya rabbal alamin..

tadi sebelum balik, seperti biasa aku suka recap balik apa yg dah aku buat hari ni..:-
-aku edit isi confirmation form kat part introd-ni pun cam slow je, nak kena kait dgn literature dari papers tu yg tak pandai tu..
-take note on method yg aku plan nak pakai, macamana measurement chemical yg dibuat oleh literature

tu je 2 keje aku tadi, tak productive sangat hari ni,maklumlah isnin.monday blues...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

countdown best punya!!

aah tak sabarnya nak balik best nya, dan yg menarik juga kerana balik ni bukan saja dapat lepas rindu pada keluarga dan foods, tapi dapat juga gi PTK dan husband pun dapat gi kursus lesen remisier dia..kebetulan yang sungguh indahhh...8 hari lagi ye..tak sabar nya..rasa macam dah malas nak buat apa2 nak melayan perasaan je, tapi tak bolehlahh, aku mesti berpijak di bumi nyata, agak sukar juga nak menetapkan hati dan terus tumpukan minda pada studi sahaja..

hakikatnya memang ada aje kerja yang masih tertangguh..yg paling kritikal adalah :-
- nak cari info tentang mask utk 4-probe ni,perlu ke tak perlu...
-collect literatures utk isi borang confirm
-nak pakat2 dengan student PG kat lab level 9 tu utk clean-up satu fumehood yg tak dipakai..sebab aku nak pakai..

Dr K (bukan Dato' K ye) suruh aku cakap je kat student2 kat lab itu ajak kemas2, aku kata, " impossible they will listen to me..." tapi dia balas balik..
" Believe me, if you tell them, they will listen to you.."

..ehh lain macam je bunyinya..apa maksud dia sebenarnya..aku macam nak tanya nak tanya, " what do you mean Dr??"..tapi tak terkeluar..nampak muka aku ni macam garang sangat kahhh.. at last aku mintak juga2 dia tolong bagitau, dan aku tak kisah kalau aku kena buat sorang2 pun tak apa...hemm..

mengeluh sebentar mengenangkan nak kena deal benda2 remeh ni dengan mereka semua..guys, so far aku sorang je female yg guna lab tu bersama lebih 10 male students..memang aku rasa sukar sangat,
aku memang kena kuatkan semangat, cekalkan hati, kena be gentle but firm ekk?? yang aku pasti aku kena berani bersuara..speak out loud, tak boleh simpan dalam hati..diorang ni semua jenis yang terus terang, tapi ada cara2 lah nak terus terangkan..kena sorry dulu, kena puji2 dulu, bagitau positif2 dulu..then baru the worst part..

part ni memang nak kena polish lagi banyak, aku masih tergagap gagap, terkial kial,satu nak susun ayat, satu perasaan malu + "segann" menebal sangat..kena practice banyak2..apakata practice kat rumah dulu dgn husband...habisla kalau semua benda nak terus terang..sanggup ke aku mendengarnya dan meluahnya..kekekeh....

tapi apa apa hal pun, aku masih dapat tetapkan hati utk buat kerja yg aku mampu buat sekarang, cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak menagguh kerja, tapi kerja yg boleh tangguh aku tangguhlaa..nak balik youu,taknak beban kepala banyak2 aku kena kuatkan semangat lagi untuk another week before fly back to malaysia..5 hari lagi utk buat kerja, so kerja betul2 apa2 yang boleh buat dulu..buat akan datang senang..bersusah dahulu bersenang kemudian lah katakann....

Saturday, May 22, 2010


yesterday, at 11am, me, my sv and Isv have a discussion with another professor which his main interest is in sensors but recently try diverging in sc research. he attended the discussion with 2 of his students, one of them is focusing on sc but in different design.

my Isv is very determine,he is the one who do the talking, i kind of left behind by him which i felt fine cause i am not the one who giving this idea, my idea is only on enhancement of one part of the cell, and he came up with a lot of ideas on how to do it...the professor asking some questions on why , how, where to do this and that, and my sv and Isv like discussing together, and of course sometime pointing on me, but most of the time i didn't have a chance to say anything..sooo..i just stay put, and be a good 'listener'

and surprisingly i noticed that my Isv kind of changing my initial intention of this research, i am not sure whether he knows what he said, but i need to confirm this with him next week..

and, as usual, after every meeting, i will be given new tasks, which almost all of them are not relevant to each other, not in sequence with the previous plan, short, it is something NEW!!!!
i need to dig & search for literatures, back to square 1, and maybe, i also need to collaborate with the prof to set-up an 'old' equipment to start my sample deposition... makes me nervous, do i have enough time to try all of these suggested methods first before really focusing on only 1 or 2...and the equipment, surely takes time and it really makes me sick!!

it makes me confuse to think of different methods at the same time, and which materials involve, since at the first place, i am only planning to focus on 2 materials and compare to the standard sample from industry, but then in the discussion, MORE than 3 materials pop-up from my Isv's mouth and i guess also from my sv's..


Thursday, May 20, 2010

aku dlm dilema

apa ni??? esok meeting lagi sv aku plan meeting ni dgn sv2I aku, dengan prof yg sekarang focus bidang yang kebetulan lebih kurang sama dengan research aku...dan prof ni akan angkut segala bala student dia utk berdepan dengan aku...hayooo..sgt tidak suka..what if diorg ni plan tukar lagi benda lain,pastu tak jadi pastu tukar ke lain lagi...aku ni tersepit kat tengah dengan demand2 mereka yg sgt passionate terlebih pulak dgn bidang aku...mudah mudahan sv2I aku akan back-up dan tolong aku merealitikan objectif research aku ni...

si L admin ofis dah forwardkan borang utk confirm this july...ha camnoo..???

tak lena tido lgi laa aku malm ni..hemmm dah brp mlm ekk asyik kelip2 je...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

banyak cabang pulak dahh

meeting dgn sv1 and sv2I, surprisingly mereka merancang utk aku focus on satu lagi method lain utk synthesize sampel..aduuh,penaT betul, dgn method1 dan method2 yg terkutang kating lagi, diorang ni biar betul...aku rasa tension jugaklaa..habis meeting balik ofis aku termenung je depan PC ...masa tu rasa macam macam, nak pengsan, panik, berdebar debar, down, tak confident...boleh ke aku ni..dahlah SV1 tu macam teragak agak nak set meeting dgn sorang lagi Dr yg ada buat juga lebih kurang cam topik aku...aku fikir,,hai,nanti entah apa pulak lagi method baru keluar...risau..BIG BIG W sekarang...WORRY 3X

Sunday, May 16, 2010

new day for me

last week rasa agak stress dengan meeting with 'I' sv dan second sv from the RC bla bla bla..weekend agak menarik, most of the time jadi housewife laa apa lagi, dan yg bestnya dapat catch-up tv series, macam ugly betty, desperate housewives, adamaya..emm adamaya agak mengesankan juga walau belum boleh lawan nurkasih...

this blog has been privatised bermula sekarang..sebab rasanya lebih selesa nak menulis di sini bila tau takda orang yg agak agak jeles membaca sebab kekadang macam ada rasa aura jeles dalam diri beberapa org yg baru di contact oleh aku...hanya aku yg tau..

anyway i am determined to start a new day tomorrow, more productive, braver, friendly-er, more efficient with my work..frust bila buka website my uni tadi ingat ada space for To-Do-List nak cuba jadi lebih organise dalam buat phd aku far rasanya okay dah, tapi nak kena lebih rasanya i can depend on my BB for this....

please Tie, starting tmorrow be more:-
- energetic
- efficient
- friendly to people
- brave to ask and to give opinion
- organised
- punctual on doing my phd works, try avoid delay okay!! (seriously)
- relax, don't be stressful...everything have its limitation
- focus on phd works...critically need to be considered

that's all .....for now , i guess

Saturday, May 15, 2010

meeting at the research centre

finally the day was come..yesterday friday, i went to the research centre with my "I' sv by train until reach Camberwell, and my SV fetched us and went to the RC..

we arrived about 10 minutes to 11am and we waited at the canteen for my second sv because he was at another building at that moment we arrived, and my SV asked if i want a coffee, looks like he wants to pay for it:) but i kind of felt ashame at that time and suddenly i told him, 'thanks Prof, i am not a coffee type of person..'( at the same time, i am pretty much sure that i heard myself laughing at me..hahahah..):(..

never mind...terlepas belanja kopi..actually i got panic when he asked, 'how would you like your coffee??'..and i totally have no idea how to respond..with sugar and milk?, white?, black? how to respond when people asked you that question..fuhh..i need to ask someone about this...kiv

then my second sv arrived, we chatted for a while and he told us about his/their recent project..and then he accompanied us to visit their new labs at another building which used to be a coffee warehouse before the RC took over..

we visited the cleanroom and the fabrication lab again, it looked fully utilised compared to our last visit last year, and i really excited and wish i can get some opportunities to work there, using all the new equipments, glove box, etc..

we discussed some more on my research and my second sv advised me to really look deeply into the concrete reasons of choosing any material in this project and have to make sure that i have all the strong reasons recorded, cited, and completely understand of their function, advantages, disadvantages..

we agreed on the steps of the project, some synthesize works at the uni, and testing at the RC..

i really glad and felt relief that we achieved that kind of agreement, even though at the first stage of the meeting, i am quite confused with all the things that my second sv talked about and how my SV and 'I' sv responded to him, but at last, its became clearer and eased my 'dizzy-ness'...

i didn't got time to take picture of us although i tried several times, they seems to keep chatting with each other and plan for another bigger project together, will apply for new funding..blabla bla..well never mind, i still have ample time to do that..

as a conclusion, i really treasure and grateful, we had that meeting, and its kind of a push gear that motivates me in doing my work.and hopefully with Allah wills and blessings,i will have enough strength to keep 'going', insyaAllah

Friday, May 7, 2010

weekly update

well, my 'I' sv came back here for 12 weeks from 29th of april, and he is kind of a guy who really committed to his job, i guess because my research topic is really his expert area, and i am also really wants to make full use of his time here..

we will have an important meeting next week at one research centre in melbourne and will meet with my co-sv there who also is an expertise on my field of, my honourable svs are everywhere, around the world..heheheh.

frankly speaking, i am VERY nervous with this coming meeting, because my co-sv will introduce me to other person/s who also working on the same field ,probably students or other researchers, i am not sure...but i reckon i need to have a well preparation for these meeting...

so while in the train heading home, my mind wasn't stop thinking about this meeting...i am afraid of my capability to explain things in 'a scientific' manner..i am not confident enough..even if i met someone at school and he/she asked "so what research are you working on actually..?"..i kind of..."errr..err well its about semiconductor device..ehh no not exactly, emm actually more on ehmm..mmm what we called..??" embarassing..i can't even explain to other PG students, so i don't know, what will be my reaction to explain to others who happen to be the expertise in this research field..

yes i know, i need to prepare myself very very very (seriously!!) very well...i keep thinking of the questions they might ask me, should i write a report on my previous works, or should i just be silence and let my SV and "I"sv 'leads the way' i don't think so...

well i guess i won't enjoy my weekend's much due to this matter...i can't even sleep well lately...the face of my"I" sv kept popping in front of me and bombarded me with questions, this and that, what, why, how, which is which.. ..aahhh..

now i know...AND I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I HAVE TO FACE ITT..that nowww
i am in WAR!!!!!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

penat wehh

soo tired this week, the I' sv is very agressive..always wants a meeting, progress, progress, progress..penat weh..n each meeting i got new tasks..heheh, at each meeting at least he gaves me 3 tasks, i already have 3 meeting!! from monday until today..soo approximately..about 9 tasks now..and the best part is none of it done!!..

and lately i felt a bit lonely....tired and lonely...what a combination, i wonder if it can be cured with eating chocolate...hemmmm..

Monday, May 3, 2010

today's nervous day & chocolate

so nervous today..why?? i actually have a meeting with my so-called co-sv from india, he just came back here for 12 weeks, and of course he kind of has a high expectation on me...but actually that's what i feel about him..

when i arrived at uni, at the first place i just want to pretend that i don't have to see him today, but my instinct keep saying " call him call him, have a meeting with him.." and i did.

i called him and arrange a meeting at 11am together with my sv, prof mike. i showed him what results i got from several preliminary measurements i've made, and still i am like don't know how to explain things in order, i can feel like i am jumping here and there, and when i glanced at his face, OMG!!..i know he kind of confuse/blank/blurr of what i am presenting to him.

Luckily i manage to get something printed on so he can study it by himself instead, and the meeting last away to early than i expected..its only takes about 20 minutes..and when i stepped out of the room, my mind keep thinking, is this enough? is this okay? or are they thinking something bad and saying bad things about me after i left ?

he gave me some work to do and tomorow i have to show him what i've done, hopefully tomorrow will be better, i kept imagine banging my head to my table while saying "stupid stupid stupid of me", after the meeting because i can't even remember the most easiest formula which i used it a lot in my calculation, and i must say, i felt stupid, very stupid at that time when he asked me what formula did i use to calculate that graph...ish ish ish..terrible!

anyway, my sv helped me out sometimes, he knew it when i don't know how to respond and he helped me explain it back to me or explained to co-sv, his ascent sometime not so clear, and i need to really pay attention to his mouth to know what he is saying..haha

and the best part ever today is that, i read an article about phd journey again today ..(check at "check it out" segment on the right)..and at one part the author said something that chocolate can really make us forget about stress and chocolate can stimulate us to be more cheerful and give our best effort in work..take chocolate while doing phd might help to reduce your phd stress...really???

walllahhh, i like that very much, in fact yeaa, now i realise why i am being soo moody lately, ...i need chocolate..i need it desperately..i need it nowww...

Friday, April 30, 2010

all about 5 papers

arrive at uni - 9.48
arrive home - ~12pm

hari ni balik awal sebab ada orang internet nak install wireless internet connection, appointment kata midday to afternoon before 5pm so ingatkan lepas kul 12, cause husband nak gi solat jumaat maka aku lah kena balik awal...tetapi mamat internet datang awal 11am dah sampai dan installation tak sampai pun yaahhoooo aku sedang menaip menggunakan pc aku dan muhammad dengan excitednya menonton power ooo ingat kalu ada 10 laptop nak bukak sume sekalii 10 10, punyala seronok...

lama tak update study dan buat entri kerana nilah, internet connection lama dah kena potong, kepunyaan penyewa dulu, dan ambil masa masukkan yang baru ni, tapi penantian yg sangat berbaloi, kerana lepas ni husband kata kalau nak lepas geram ber'internet' sepanjang masa pun takpa, sebab dia tak kacau aku, aku pun tak akan kacau laptop dia, anak pun boleh main game

study aku agak kurengg best this and last week, kena belajar guna sputtering machine, oh sangatlah susah dan ambil masa sangat lama utk bina confident diri...SV dari india dah sampai dan aku masih tak tau apa yg aku kena buat report ni sebab result bukannya gempak pun..try la tengok weekend ni macamana,kot2 dapat ilham ke..

2 hari lepas, tengah bosan bosan terbaca satu artikel, dari seorang phd holder, dia kata sebagai phd student jangan fikirkan sangat tentang thesis tapi focuskan pada papers, everything from your work focus on writing paper about it, and at least dapat 5 papers with high impact..mak ooii, tenganga tetiba aku baca..5 tuu..tapi bab thesis tu logik jugakan, bila ada paper barulah confident nak tulis thesis...tapi bab 5 paper tu wow wow wow..tak terkata iii....

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

saya suka teknologi moden

biasanya setiap hari memang tak boleh pisah dengan internet, ingat dulu dulu manalah ada ni semua, tapi sekarang dah jadi satu tercapailah sasaran "satu rumah satu internet" kalau tak silap dulu, Tun Mahathir yang lancarkan ke?? atau mungkin menteri lain tapi masa dia jadi PM.

kat sini lagilah, hampir semua tempat ada wifi, terutama kat city...jadi kelek jelah laptop tu ke mana mana, kat tepi jalan pun boleh bukak internet, blogging, googling, etc..

sungguh kagum..sebab pernah merasa hidup di zaman telefon gedabak pakai pusing nombor dengan bunyi klasik kring kring..hinggalah dengan telefon di tangan, dengan rupa bentuk yang sangat vogue, boleh dengar lagu, boleh cakap telefon, boleh ambik gambar, boleh rekod suara, rekod video, dan ada juga yang boleh buka line internet samada pakai wifi atau pakai line service...

kenapa membebel pasal ni ?? ada beberapa insiden hari ni yang membuatkan saya sangat sangat bangatttt bersyukur yang kita ada teknologi ini..yang paling utama adalah begini kisahnya:-

saya kena buat balik borang analisa risiko makmal "bilik-bersih"(clean-room) dan mesin-mikro jadi dengan perasaan yang agak keciwa, luluh hati dan jantung, saya menghantar sms kepada kawan sesekolah dan orang malaysia juga (mestilah, nak minta tolong kena cari "orang kita" dulu) dan tanyakan borang contoh dia untuk saya jadikan rujukan (nak tiru sebenarnya..."_')....dan saya menanti dengan penuh debaran samada dia akan balas sms saya tetapi tidak..saya keciwa lagi...jadi kena fikirkan plan B..okay saya cuba telefon seorang lagi kawan di sekolah yang sama ini, tetapi dia belum masuk ofis...jadi saya keciwa lagi..


saya ingat borang yang saya isi dah ok, dan kerana saya perlu kad kebenaran masuk makmal tu cepat, tetapi bila kena buat balik, kad pun tak dapat,tak dapat masuk..dan..mestilah memakan masa yang lama untuk mendapat kad kebenaran masuk itu nanti..dan ini membuat saya jadi keciwa, gabra, gemuruh..nanti kerja saya lambat siap, penyelia saya minta saya buat laporan, dalam minggu depan penyelia bersama dari india akan datang ke sini lagi...nak tengok apa yang saya dah buat sepanjang peninggalan dia...

tetapi tak apa...kerana saya sudah agak lama juga makan garam gula dan sebenarnya cuma tolak batu dan kayu sahaja..jadi saya cuba tenangkan diri saya.."kita minumm duluuuuu.." eerr maksud saya, saya ambil pecah_masa (time break)...jadi saya pun bukak internet dan berkata pada diri sendiri ..mari kita periksa mana tahu email baru ada masuk....dan saya bukak website uni dan login email uni saya..dannn

TAADHAAAA...(bak kata muhammad..)

bergenang air mata saya melihat ada email baru...dan tajuknya adalah.."analisa risiko di makmal" ( tapi sudah tentu ditulis dalam bahasa inggeris)..daripada dia,orang yang saya sms tadi, rupa rupanya bila dia dapat sms saya dia terus bertindak, dan dengan teknologi internet ini sekelip masa telah menjadi fail saya..saya pun apa lagi..muat turun dan mula meng edit ( + meniru) isi-isi borangnya..dan bila sudah meng"edit" saya terus emailkan pada juruteknik makmal berkenaan..harap dia dapat uruskan cepat


jadi moral cerita untuk saya hari ini adalah...
1- jangan ingat bila saya hantar sms minta tolong, penerima tak baca, tak layan, tak balas bermakna saya keseorangan, takada geng, kawan, diorang kawan dengan geng diorang je, yelah sebab saya perempuan, diorang langsung tak nak tolong..sila alihkan pemikiran %$#@* itu kepada yang lebih positif..
2-apa apa saja keadaan tertekan, jangan terus terusan menekan diri sendiri, cuba alih ( corner) perhatian pada benda lain, dan kembali pada benda yang sama setelah hati rasa tenang sedikit..(kita minum duluuuu..)
3-InsyaAllah setiap masalah ada penyelesaiannya..cuba fikir dengan kepala otak bukan dengan kepala lutut..(ni lawak bo*#$)
4-walaupun saya perempuan dan sedang berada di dunia yang hampir semua di sekeliling saya adalah Lelaki, bukan bermakna saya tak daya, saya kaum yang lemah, saya mesti berani ,berterus terang, malu biar bertempat, jangan malu bertanya ( eh betul ke ayat ni..emm ahh betul la)..insyaAllah akan ada yang sudi membantu..walaupun dia membantu secara diam diam dan langsung tak balas sms saya..tak adalah nak bagitau sepatah, "aku dah email kan kat kau" ke misalnya dan biarkan saya tertunggu tunggu dengan penuh rasa rendah hati (down)..tapi perlu sentiasa fikir positif, kalau yang ni tak boleh ckena cuba cara yang lain..pendek kata pelan musti ada banyakk..plan A,B, C...bla bla bla..

jadi sebab itulah hari ni saya rasa sangat sangat bersyukur pada Allah yang memberikan ilmu teknologi ini kepada mereka yang dapat mencipta telefon bimbit yang boleh hantar pesanan(sms) sahaja tanpa perlu bercakap (sebab kadang2 malu nak bercakap, baik sms saja lebih selesa) dan mencipta internet yang boleh hantar dan terima surat elektronik (email ) dalam sekelip mata...jadi untuk hal hal KECEMASAN..sudah tidak menjadi hal kecemasan lagi dan telah dapat menaikkan semangat saya untuk belajar, bekerja dan....blogging:)

(kredit dan terimakasih Farid, walau kau tak balas sms saya dan tak bagitau langsung yang kau dah email kat saya borang tu...tapi bantuan kau kirim borang tu dengan pantas sangat sangat saya bersyukur..sebab ianya sangat penting pada saya masa tu..dan kau telah selamatkan saya dari menangis seorang diri di depan PC saya tadi dengan hanya 1 minit masa kau peruntukkan untuk mencari fail borang ini dan hantar email pada saya, terima kasih bebanyakkk....semoga urusan phd kau dipermudahkan Allah sentiasa)

memang agak emosi entri ini, kerana memang saya emosi tadi...kerana hal makmal ni sangat penting untuk saya masa ni, hanya orang yang buat phd libatkan makmal sahaja yang tau betapa pentingnya makmal buat masa sekarang ini, makmal macam menjadi rumah kedua, tempat di mana semuanya bermula dan berakhir..jika baik permulaannya InsyaAllah baik juga penamatnya.....

dan saya juga berjaya menulis tanpa mencampurisationkan melayu dan inggeris...hampir2..

semoga semua urusan dipermudahkan Allah SWT, dan dibukakan jalan untuk mencari penyelesaian atas segala masalah yang mungkin timbul..aamiiinn ya rabbal alamin.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

phd update

esok kena jumpa SV..ingat nak jumpa next week,

tetiba terserempak kat lif..alamak..

"Hi Zu, how you going? Lets meet tomorrow, we have a lot to catch up.."

aa ah yela, agaknya dia ada benda nak bagitau tu, kalau i rasanya tak ada apa nak catch-up, ...taaapi nak kena fikir juga esok nak catch-up apa dgn dia nihh..bawak botol ketchup ??(kicap)...boleh??..

Thursday, April 8, 2010

rose background

at last i found what i am looking for..the picture of rose as my the colour, the size, the shape of it...

love it!!!

upps..any update on my study?
not much really-
still doing some calculations and graphes editing
and wondering about some issues:
when to repeat measurements,
when to ask Dr Abu about the new samples,
when to meet SV and second SV,
when to start prepare the candidature form materials,
what to write on the form,
when the CSIRO people will contact me about the agreement procedure.
not much really..huh!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

To Cu Noor

kesian pulak cunoor tak puas berjalan jalan di melbourne...

please come again..while i am still here:)

..not planning to stay here any llongger than 3 years..InsyaAllah

so DO COME AGAIN..okay..

Monday, April 5, 2010

roses everywhere..

welcome to the blog of roses
masih teringat ingat lagi bau roses yang sungguh wangi
tatkala kaki mula melangkah ke taman ros ini
di Weribee
so it such a waste if i am not sharing
all the great pictures of them here
these are only a small part of
all the pictures i took
felt like 'a roses-maniac' at that time
clicking here and there non stop
oh how i just love flowers
i admit it
i am a simple woman
who just can't resist the beauty
of flowers
especially ..ROSES
what to do
i am who i am
minah bunga pun minah bunga laaa..

gostan 1 jam

semalam, 4th april, jam di awalkan i jam, bermakna kalau sekarang jam menunjukkan pukul 12.30, awalkan jadi 11.30 cam tu, so waktu solat pun jadi awal, zuhur pukul 12.30pm, asar pukul 3 lebih, maghrib pukul 6 lebih dan isyak around 7.30pm.

sekarang autumn, nanti jun winter, bermula,lah semula siang yg pendek dan malam yg agak panjang...well harap dapat gunakan masa sebaik baiknya., InsyaAllah..maklumla bila siang pendek ni, cepat la balik dari uni, jadi masa kat uni agak terhad, nak balik lambat2 seram juga, 6.30pm dah maghrib, meaning sebelum 7pm dah gelap...

juga bolehlah sambung qadha puasa yang masih berbaki, kerana maghrib awal, astagaa...tunggu maghrib awal, ngelat yee..heheh...

sekarang cuti, dari jumaat lepas, 1st april hingga 6th april, cuti easter, seronok + gumbira, ..kami tak kemana mana tempat special pun, hanya ke city last week dan rancang ke sana lagi hari rabu ni..cuti sekolah masih berbaki beberapa hari...

tadi baru balik dari dimmey's membeli belah utk bebudak bertuah tiga orang ni..jadilah..sukakan hati anak anak kan besar fadhilatnya..heheh..sukakan hati mak bapak pun camtu juga, baanyaakk ganjarannya, ye nak, semoga menjadi anak anak yg mendengar kata dan soleh serta solehah...

beli apa?? beli baju tidur dan stokin....eii sukanya..preparation untuk winter, baju tidur ni kainnya tebal sket, dan kat dimmey's ada sale, maka apa lagi..tengoklah muka masing masing, berseri seri..mak dan bapaknya pun ada habuan juga....bila balik sibuk nak try, posing setikang..

dan.....sambil sambil cari gambar, terjumpa pulak gambar ni...

my fav kat zoo heansville, konon nak posing cam patung koala tu, ngeh ngeh mana lagi unik, yg real ke yg patung...i loikke them both!!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

cuti laagiii

hemm, australia dan cutinya..

semalam 1st april cuti good friday, then easter RMIT CUTI until tuesday..

orang lain buat plan berjalan, sebab cuti ni sama dengan cuti sekolah..kami, bab berjalan and cuti cuti bila ni cam lembap sket so, takda plan lahh..

so duduk rumah je ni..hemm bosan le.kedai pun tutup semalam, hari ni maybe ada yg bukak..tapi kalau berjalan kat kedai ni, bahaya sket, ada sesi 'terbeli' nanti..lepas
tu balik eh nyesal beli sebab tak berguna nak ke mana..? tempat yg selamat dan tidak perlu keluarkan duit, pergi park je la, budak2 ni boleh main playground, mamanya kebosanan juga...

takpa pelan pelan fikir plan apa, kesian jugak, budak budak ni, asyik main benda sama, last last bosan keluar main kat laman depan...what to do..

maybe boleh gi city lagi next monday ke, jalan jalan..


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

update-second sv meeting

arrive uni - 9.05am
left - 4.40pm

have appointment with anthony today at 9.30am. for me today, its the earliest time i arrived at uni. most of the time around 10.30 am, is the earliest.
but because of my dear dear second sv i' ll do anythingg...ewaah..

9.30am sharp: i stood infront his office, but the office still close and dark. as always, there was a note saying "be back at 9.40"...nice..

met Jean, chinese girl, also his student, happen to be his student from last sem, taking MSc by coursework, but RMIT allowed their PG coursework student to take a semester doing research to replaced at least 4 Jean choosed to do research this sem.

9.42am : anthony arrived at the office, looking at us and said" i have been triple booked today.." me and Jean like looking at each other and i just couldn't get it, but then another student arrived, " Hi Anthony..." yaaa, now i understand, 3 students at the same time..

but as Anthony said, it is alright, because we went to the meeting actually for the same purpose, to learn how to use the 4-probe, rf sputtering,bla bla..all at the micro machine we went there together like a happy family..heheh

so far so good for me, and i am fortunate because Jean is willing to be partner with me whenever we want to use the lab..there are several rules while using this lab and the cleanroom, one of those is , each student need to get partner, or member whenever they want to enter/using the lab, its one of the precaution procedures, thus, if anything happens, we have someone as a back help us, to call some one, to seek for security, etc..

anyway, my office PC is not working today, the IT person said, somekind of hardisk corruption and will come again tomorrow to repair it..small matter, because here, all students have access to a special server called H:Drive..and all students are encourage to always save their works on this drive..

what so special about this drive is that:

if something happen to your PC (like mine) you can always use other PC, which is not use by other students, "on vacancy"(have some in my office, no student using it, not entitled to anyone, & belongs to the students who already completed their studies and they are not coming to uni anymore)...

you can always access the same work by using the H:Drive by login using your student ID and your need to always transfer your work to thumbdrive or CD as back up..

and you can also access the H:Drive from home, using internet, and via RMIT website...

so i used Noura's PC problem at all, but still, i love to do my work at my own work hopefully by tomorrow, the IT person can settle it and my PC will be okay..InsyaALlah.

ehemm..english again...well what to do..the 'environment influence" is VERY STRONGG..ihiks..cheers

Friday, March 26, 2010

phd update- attitude

arrive at uni - 10 am

10.25 - went to my 2nd SV's room - need to introduce myself to him, Dr Anthony, since we haven't meet yet although prof Mike already told him about me. he's not in, but left a note at the door " I will be here at 11am, sorry for any inconvenient", for me this is good, so people will not keep wondering when you will be i decided to go to level 9, check out about the 4-probe equipment, whether i can find someone who i can get help with that.

10.30 -arrive at level 9, met another PG fellows, one is my officemate, chinese guy, Jerry and another one is Iran lady, use to be at Sensor Lab. Fortunately, they are running measurement using the same equipment, only that they didnot use 4-probe, i followed them to get into the lab (which i don't have a legal access to it yet)..this lady's face changed, what i could describe from that face sign, its like saying to me in silence..'you are not welcome here'... quickly and softly i told them.."no don't worry, i don't want to use the equipment today, just want to know where the location of it"..then her face lighten a bit and she just continue her work and pretending like i am not there....

well frankly speaking, i kind of used to that kind of treatment from people, it is not bothering me at all, mentally, psychologically and emotionally..and Jerry nicely told to me that i need to book the equipment, need to meet Dr Anthony who is the person incharge of the equip, bla bla bla....

no problem at all, i said..and
before i leave them, i rised my voice a bit (in purpose to confirm that the iran lady will listen to what i wanna say, heheh), " Ow, thank you Jerry, well dr Anthony is my second SV, so i am sure he will help me with this.."then I offence :) cheers

talking about experience on this:-

When you are in the new lab that you need to do measurements, have no idea at all who will you meet, which equipment to use, what precaution to take, where to find materials, etc...
you need to find someone who willing to show you all of these stuffs, but most likely, what you will be facing is that when you enter the lab that is new to you, everybody are so busy with their work, not even lift their head for a while to notice who's coming in...and you will be wondering where to start, what to say, who you want to talk to..

but when their mates (friends) or some other persons who i assume will give them some benefits on their work come in, wow, you can obviously see the differences, how those persons changing drastically from that serious-don't-disturb'me attitude to like a 'marketing people' who beg you to buy their products.. with all the smilings, the laughs, the " how r you today" greetings, blehhh...

there are some malaysian students also using the same lab, and i am sure i can get much help from them InsyaAllah, eventhough they are rarely using it for now, maybe the measurements stage were completed, i don't know but i hope maybe i can 'beg' them to help i need to learn how to 'beg' in professional manner, heh

yaa, i need to consider their freetime, busy-ness, etc as well, cannot just simply, because you are also malaysian, i am older than you, so come and spend sometimes and teach me about no no..i still need to respect their time, their privacy, their busy-ness, etc..

if they could not help me, then i need to 'push' myself to 'beg' other non-malaysian PG to help me, and most probably i will facing the same treatment from them...

well that is one of the listless big challenges of learning phd ABROAD!!..if i am doing it in my own country, to make it more 'sweet', doing it in the university that i used to be working in..haaahh, it will be like in heaven ..but still you will facing other major, bigg challenges doubt about that...

thats why i guess, in one of the other concrete reasons, people will give you more respect, more honour if you are phd holder, because the challenges, difficulties, struggles to achieve it are un-describable, un-explainable, in words. and only the person who experienced it will know....

actually, when i decided to pursue my phd abroad, this is the first thing i set my mind and emotion to be VERY strong on, 'PEOPLE ATTITUDE'...

because when dealing with people we are like dealing with another system., we don't know the limitation of 'kindness', of 'cruelness', of 'careness' of them.....

other than that, about how i spend my time doing my research, how i manage my time, work, family, is all on me..ONLY ME....

by the way, to continue the updates for today, i went to Dr Anthony's office again around 11am.

11am - i met Dr Anthony, very nice guy, set another appointment with him for next week, on tuesday, 9.30am, since he already expecting another student meeting at that time...

hemm.. well, why i am writing in english today, i really don't know, but probably, because of the environment influences, hehe..

and yes, there might be grammar mistakes here and there i guess, but why should i be bother, i am not born with english on my tongue!, LOL,..what people use to call it?.. english is not my mother tongue..:P

i am malaysian who always proud to be MUSLIM- MALAYSIAN..speaking english is just a way to ease you in communication here, as long as you can tell what you want to tell and the person you are talking to, understand what you are saying..that's enough..REALLY.. ITS ENOUGH..

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


sampai uni - 10.30am
balik - 4.15pm lepas kelas tutorial..

ow ye tak cerita pun hal kelas tutorial kelas ni..Alhamdulillah start sem awal mac hari tu dapat offer jadi casual tutor untuk Physics 1 course bagi engineering students..

aku try email coordinator fizik last year lepas settle down everything, sebab kawan ofismate ni kata, memang standard student postgrad sini tutoring, like normal thing, kekadang SV yg suruh utk tolong diorang, tapi SV aku takda pun suruh..

kenapa aku decide nak apply ajar fizik? sebab aku takleh lari dari fizik, heheh...rasa cam sayang basic knowledge yg 'very stroongg' inih disia siakan begitu sahaja...(cewahh...)

so kelas nya setiap rabu , 12.30 to 4.30, dua sesi, 2 hrs per session , aku dapat 4 hrs tutoring..bayarannya tak banyak, seriously, banding dengan member ofismate aku dapat bila tutoring kat school engin, aku ni cam servicing kat applied sciences school..see ada juga haa applied sciences school kat sini...

rabu memang hari balik awal, bila habis tutoring je aku cabut ke melbourne central catch 4.45pm train...

anyway, ada gak kerja study yang aku buat tadi, cari cari balik MATLAB curve fitting work yg mungkin ada kat dalam mana2 3 thumbdrive yg ada dgn aku sekarang........hampehh, takada..alamak..kena fikirkan plan B, C, D, etc...

Plan B: email kenkawan kat B212, FSG, mintak tolong godekkan ex-PC kat ofis, sebab masa buat master dulu, buat curvefitting guna PC ofis tu..harap harap ada...DONE

Plan C: kalau Plan B tak jadi, kena try email Gie tanyakan tesis Dr Suganthi yg ada equation utk MATLAB curve fitting tu..

Plan D: kalau dua dua tak jadi, kena try sendiri develop balik equation tu dan masukkan dalam toolbox MATLAB ni..

Plan E: doa harap harap tak sampaila ke Plan E..


credit to: Kak Tini, thanks tolong usahakan godek PC kat ofis tu yee...kalau dapat ALhamdulillah, tak dapat nak buat camne...

tawakkal dan doa..

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


tadi sampai uni - 10.15am,
nak balik - 5.50pm - lepas update studi ku hari ni..

so alkisah optical spectrum tadi di sambung...

balik bilik lepas jumpa SV termenung jap...why why why ??? cehh

lepas tu barula nampak kat atas meja, hek elehh, aku salah bawak graf yg tak jadi rupanya..patutla..ish ish ish..tepuk dahi je la..

anyway, aku buat balik spectrum semua measurement sampel yg aku ada tu dan nanti nak tunjuk lagi sekali kat SV..kali ni have to be confident..yeye

lagi apa aaaa..ow ye, jumpa Rick student yg buat solar cell juga, dia ajak jumpa sebab nak minta tolong aku dapatkan sampel dari CSIRO...

emm first time jumpa dia ni serious gilerr..takut aku, ow time kau nak minta tolong pandai pulak kau senyum yee..ngehh ngeh..takpe..biasala tu, nanti aku pun kena minta tolong dgn dia juga..

Rick ni bukan org putih, chinese tapi speaking pehh..slang ngalah ausie..aku faham tak faham ..

dan juga akhir sekali sebelum bukak blog entry ni aku try main main balik dengan MATLAB, sebab tadi SV aku dah sound suruh try buat MATLAB dgn data aku ni..

mula PSPICE, now MATLAB...LEPAS NI APA...???....tawakkal je laa..

dah nak balik, nak catch train pukul 6.05pm, sebelum tu singgah COLES beli roti....

phd update

tadi dalam pukul 11.20am jumpa SV , ingatnya cuma nak tanya okay ke tak apa yg aku isi dalam Risk Assessment Form tu..tapi ..standard la kan (recently banyak pulak guna ayat ni) Prof Mike ni bukan suka tengok saja saja ..mesti go thru juga..bla bla bla..tapi okayla, dia setuju dengan apa yg aku buat..
ni sebenarnya susulan dari kursus induksi makmal micro-machine & cleanroom yang aku hadiri last week.
form ni sebenarnya senaraikan semua bencana bencana, " hazardouss"(waahh..bahasa) yg mungkin di hadapi bila berada di makmal yg mempunyai peralatan yg besar "tertanam"(plant-on) dan menggunakan tekanan yg tinggi, gas gas yg beracun, kuasa elektrik yg besar, aku kena decide apa bencana yg mungkin aku akan hadapi ( Nauzubillah..) bila aku nak guna peralatan di makmal ni, apa langkah pencegahan yg aku perlu ambil, tindakan kecemasan yg aku boleh buat dan sbgnya..

so settle bab form step adalah aku kena scan dan emailkan pada technician lab ni untuk review dan diluluskan sebelum aku dapat kad access untuk masuk lab ni in future nanti..

next..ingatkan SV tak tanya, rupa rupanya..
"So Zu how's the optical measurement any good results, spectrum or anything..."

aku dah agak dah, dan dah prepare nak tunjuk graf dan calculation yg aku buat, tapi cam biasala ..memang bukan itu yg dia nak tengok..bila tengok spectrum je, macam macam benda dia tanya, justss dengan tengok spectrum yg one page tu..yg aku duduk mengira sehariannn semalam, berrr mukasurat ni langsunggg dia tak pandang..adusss..

- these peaks location is not right, should be at this range not that range, what happen ..?


- do you relate this with the thickness equation, what is the relations of this lambdar range and the t ?

teeekkk..._blank_ ...lagi

- the T percentage shouldn't exceed this level, aren't they ? pastu senyum senyum kambing kat aku....what do you think ?? hai angkat angkat kening pulak..

hemmm..teekkk.._blank_..lagi dan lagi dan lagi..

so, aku pun mula la "goreng' kat dia balik apa yg aku tau..tapi memang kena admit la, aku salah , sebab tak perasan spectrumnya tak betul, shape cantikk tapi range tak betul..

well, habis aku punya credibility, konon biasa buat optical measurement, biasa buat optical calculation, biasa buat tuu..biasa buat nii..

aku rasa apa yg dia nampak aku sekarang ni..macam...totally a loser!! a beginner, tak tau hape hape, tapi buat buat muka confident-tapi dalam hati duduk membebel..rasa cam tau tapi apa ye...

kesimpulannya..aku ni tak tau apa-apa..ehh melampau la..habis yg aku duduk mengadap hari hari tu apa..time master dulu buat benda ni juga..tapi buat apa sebenarnya??..aku pun tak leh nak explain kat orang lain..


aku tak cukup faham apa yang aku rasa aku tau/faham..

jadi banyak benda la aku kena review mulai hari ni...even yg rasa tau pun sebenarnya tak cukup tau, dan mungkin aku juga ada penyakit tak tau apa yg aku tak tau..alamak..aku rasa ni penyakit paling bahaya untuk seorang student ..macamana ni..panik panik,

kena makan cokelat la kalau macam ni..(aik apakah kaitannyaa....ENTAH..

however..cheers still and always!!..:P

Monday, March 22, 2010

tips menjaga anak-anak yang aktif

anak anak aku sofiya, sofina dan muhammad..ya dua perempuan dan seorang lelaki.

banyak dialog yang biasa aku dengar:-

" oohh anak kau tak buas (aktif) pun, ye..baik je..kalau anak aku laa..ish tak boleh duduk diam diam macam ni.."

" anak kau perempuan dua, okaylah, yg adiknya pun ikut je duduk diam2...anak aku ni semua lelaki, takdanya nak duduk macam ni, tula aku malas nak bawak ke mana mana..."

" senyap je anak kau...anak aku kalau ada ni tak boleh la aku sembang sembang macam ni.."

dan banyak lagi...respond aku, senyum je, dan angguk angguk, dalam hati kata.."emm yelaa"...

dari satu segi, Alhamdulillah, semua macam memuji anak aku, tak bising, tak buas (aktif), dengar cakap, dll ...

tapi hakikatnya, dah nama budak, perempuan ke lelaki ke, aku rasa sama je..cuma macam anak aku, suka observe dulu, bila mereka rasa selesa dan selamat dengan sesuatu tempat, persekitaran atau orang tertentu, barula mereka keluarkan attittude sebenar mereka yang bagi aku..hemmm standardnya:-

- ni kat City , beberapa bulan lepas, bukan gi shopping pun, jalan2 je..dan inila mereka yg sebenar

tempat tu jadi "playground" mereka, tak kirala di mana, bank ke, pejabat pos ke, kedai makan ke, shopping mall, di mana mana saja....asalkan mereka selesa dan rasa selamat..lagi lagi kalau abah atau mamanya ada berdekatan...memang high pitch, tahap maksima pecah semua tingkap kaca ...
ni kat kedai Timberland di DFO, dua hari lepas.....mereka main main kat dalam fitting room...

(perhatikan gambar yg blurr, kerana pergerakan mereka yg ..sungguh ..'buas'..(aktif))

memang banyak mata yg memandang, dan jenuh juga mulut asyik memanggil manggil dan memberi warning, tapi bila mereka dah seronok, apa lagi yg mampu seorang ibu buat, selain dari memerhati dan merasa tumpang seronok melihat kegembiraan mereka.....

tapi memang aku surrender..tak akan sekali kali, kalau boleh saja saja bawak mereka ni ke hospital...sebab aku tahu kadar keriuhan yg mereka ini mampu buat...dan di hospital ???

melampau la...kenala hormat sikit kat orang sakit..:)

bagi aku, kalau mereka monyok, diam je...termenung, hah lagi aku susah hati, biarlah mereka main, macam kata suami aku asal tak sakit, jatuh, dan mudarat sudah, kalau di halang halang kan, "terbantut" pulak...(tu kata suami aku ye, kalau nak banding, mulut aku ni lagi power bab marah marah anak ni, heheh)

tapi yelah kadang2 kena juga fikir orang sekeliling, tak semua orang suka bunyi suara budak2 bergelak ketawa, apatah lagila kalau menangis...lagi kalau jenis yang high pitch cam anak anakku ini..almaklumla..anak cucu cikgu, dari dalam perut lagi asyik dengar emaknya terpekik pekik mengajar..ehem ehem..

so apakah tips menjaga/ mengawal anak2 yang aktif ??

Friday, March 19, 2010

holiday at melbourne-jalan2 dimelbourne siri ke-3

haii, lama dahh nak update jalan2 melbourne siri ke-3..( siri pertama- tulip festival, siri ke-2 - birthday mama)......tapi tak tau bila nak decide hari ni kena buat juga, seringkas, padat yg boleh...we'll see how it goes...

Baru baru ni bulan februari, adik adik aku datang melawat.mereka adalah jal (adik nombor 4), julie (wife jal ) dan noor, adik bongsu..
dapatlah berjalan jalan bersama diorang ke ballarat, weribee, philip island, heansville..etc..
ni masa sampai kat souvereign hill., di dlm gambar adalah en yusdi, anak2 ku, cunoor dan julie..

Jal dan noor...helehh..ngada2 nya laa adik bongshuu tuu..
so baanyak agenda untuk 10 hari mereka di sini..siapa yg buatkan agenda..sudah tentu mereka..kami cuma mengikut saja..
siap dgn jadual perjalanan, ke mana arah tuju, etc...
antara tempat kami pergi:-

hari 1: Ballarat - Pekan koboi + lombong emas lama
- dapat lihat rumah, bangunan, kereta kuda, penduduk di pekan koboi pada zaman lombong emas masih beroperasi..
-lihat demo cara2 mereka melombong, cara mereka buat jongkong emas, cara mereka buat lilin, cara mereka buat kereta kuda, cara askar2 mereka menjaga keselamatan

siap ada budak budak berlakon seolah olah mereka yang tinggal kat situ cantik dgn pakaian lama di zaman koboi dulukala...

fiya & fina di dalam kedai membuat lilin, sangat cantik...lilin colourful dan baanyakk

persembahan askar dulukala..geng yg lawan yankee dulu dulu kot ni..

hari 2: ke Heansville dan Philip Island

- heansville tempat zoo, wildlife australia..yg bestnya part feeding the kangaroo, kangaroos were being very friendly..

ni masa tengok Kaola kat pokok, tak nak bangun tidur, so bergambar dgn patung je laa..
kangaroos were so friendly, the keeper gave us carrots and corns to feed them..INTERESSTINGG...

lepas berada di sini dalam 3 jam lebih, cepat cepat berangkat ke Philip Island..tengok penguin naik ke pantai..

biasanya penguin naik time sun set, sayangnya tak boleh ambik gambar sebab takut penguin terkejut...
(gambar dari

tapi memang antara pengalaman yg best..penguin kecik kecik jee..comelll......

balik sampai rumah pukul 11 mlm..letihhhh..esoknya jalan lagi..

hari 3: weribee.

- ada zoo safari, wildlife

ni adalah giraffe + zebra dan cheetah pink sesat bergambar dgn lion simbaaaa..
gambar paling atas tu paling best, konon ingat kalau nak tengok singa mesti ada nuun jauh kat tengah padang sana..rupa2nya haa betul2 depan batang hidung, lion betina ni tidur kat atas trak lama yg di letak kat sarang dia, dan cuma di hadang dengan cermin tebal dengan org ramai..soo best dpt duduk dekat dgn dia..oww, eksyen gituu..

gambar kedua di dalam bas yg akan bawak tour ke dalam hutan safari sama macam kat afrika tu..teringat cerita kartun madagascar laa..boleh tengok wildlife secara 'life'..giraffe, zebra, unta, rusa, badak, etc...lama juga travel ni dalam 1jam 15 min...nice experience..

- then kami pergi ke old castle zaman bangsawan dulu2 tinggal di area berdekatan dgn zoo....
dressing room khas utk lady lady mereka bersiap..yg frustnya, ikut member yg dah datang sini, boleh try pakai baju2 ni dan bergambar..sayangnya masa kami sampai tak ada maid yg jaga, so tak merasa laa..dah la free pulak tu..hguhu

suka gambar ni, cermin di dalam cermin di dalam cermin di dalam cermin...bla bla bla...
- then ada rose park ( i looiikkee...!!!)..

bila masuk je kawasan ros park ni, masyaAllah, harum nya bau bunga2 ros yg banyak ni semasa angin bertiup

satu pokok ros yg di gubah tumbuh jadi cantik cam ni..suka sangat, bau nya pun paling harum antara semua...

wow noor tak lepas bergambar dgn rose kaler

hemm..bab bunga nihh, memang lemah sket laa..suuukaaaa la minah bunga pun minah bunga la..banyak lagi sebenarnya gambar bunga ni..cuma tak larat nak download semua kat sini..tapi memang kawasan besar, dengan bunga ross penuuhh, berbagai kaler, berbagai jenis, besar besar...huuh cantik betul..

there..see...boleh pun update jalan2 di melbourne siri ke-3

thats all...till next time..hopefully not too long..cheers!

long time no entryy

lama tak masuk cerita kat sini..sebab:-

- malas..sebab paling utama

- sibuk ..tak juga

- tak ada benda nak cerita...banyak sebenarnya..tapi yaahh, back to number 1, malas

- bosan dengan layout tu, so tukar layout lagi...emm yang ni okay juga

-ingat lepas ni nak update hal study je, ..tapi fikir2 balik, tak best lahh..

Walaupun begitu, InsyaAllah lepas ni try je la tulis secara tetap..yela, kata nak buat kenangan di masa depan, kan..kan...kan...

Friday, January 29, 2010

nak join modeling laa..(PhD updates)

alaa sungguh fed-up rasanya menatap kertas kertas "black & white" (journal laa tu) yg sungguh boring tanpa warna warna menarik..kekadang menjadikan hari hari ku sungguh kelabu, mood pun kelabu, jiwa pun kelabu ???!! haa..haii,
patutla ada org cakap belajar tinggi boleh menambahkan kematangan, menjadi lebih "tua" dari usia sebenar, sebab ilmu dah bertambah, ye ke sebab ilmu bertambah?? bagi aku ilmu bertambah tu yelaa, Alhamdulillah..

tapi yg bertambah juga adalah:-
-kedut kedut muka sebab asyik berkerut, memikir apasal baca 44 kali pun tak faham2
-sawang sawang dalam kepala makin banyak bila makin banyak benda di baca dan tak di mengerti
-hati tak berapa nak gembira, asyik memikir kerja kerja kerja aje
-mulut asyik muncung, concentrate la katakan, otot2 muka pun jadi ketat..
-kalau pandang barang2 kat kedai pun asyik nampak benda kelabu aje

yelaa logik apa..asyik ngadap benda hitam putih aje apa nak buat,mata pun kelabu jadinya..dahla memang rabun ('kelabu'- org tganu kata)...

memandangkan pada list yg sungguh efisien di berikan di atas, satu kesimpulan telah dapat dibuat..list di atas adalah faktor2 yg boleh mencepatkan ke'tua'an..ada orang memang suka/jadi 'tua' sebelum masanya, contohnya adalah:-

-budak kecik nak mekap cam org besar
-tengah sekolah sibuk nak berboyfriend
-baru pandai sikit dah sibuk nak judge orang buat ni salah buat tu tak kena, diaa je sorg yg pandai..sume org kena dengar cakap dia..
-baru anak 3 dah nampak cam anak 10 ...alamak aku kah itu ...
dah dah menambahkan sesak dlm dada je memikir benda nii....tak boleh jadi, aku taknak 'tua' sebelum masanya walau umur dah hampir nak masuk angka 4 dah nii..aku nak jadi wanita berumur 4 di depan yg ceria,anggun, ayu,bahagia,tenang dan satu bonus kalau org tak agak umur aku berangka 4 di depan..heheh..
jadi seperti kata pepatah, "jgn asyik memandang langit di atas, jengukllah juga rumput di bumi"(alamak betuii ke ni, lebih kurangla kot..)..
so sambil sambil membuat kerja phd ni aku nak 'take a break' la ..ceria ceriakan diri dgn benda benda lain supaya nampak juga warna warna indah yg banyak di sekeliling dan tidak asyik memikirkan HITAM & PUTIH sahaja...........
supaya InsyaAllah, muka yg berkerut dapat diregangkan, mulut yg muncung dapat tersenyum, kepala bersawang dapat dilapangkan, dan warna kelabu dapat di tukar pada warna warni yg menarik...
barula jiwa menjadi tenang, hati tak bimbang, muka tak masam.. proses penuaan pun berkurangaaaannnn....InsyaAllah..:P

so semalam sedang ngadap bende "kelabu" itu aku dah buat keputusan untuk menceburi satu bidang baru modelling..memang kat RMIT ni ada, banyaaakk peluang, lebih lebih lagi kat school electrical engineering aku ni heheh...

berangan sekejap..bestnyer dapat pakai baju cantik2, mekap cantik2, dandan rambut bagi vogue pastu org ambik gambar, kot sini kot sana tengok atas tengok ni..

(photos from America's Next Top Model) ahhh..barula meriah sikit hidup, colourful, full of beauties, takla kelabu aje..

hahaha ..zuuuupppp

walaupun begitu modeling yg aku kena involve ni bukanlaa seperti di atas..supervisor aku baru bagi kerja suruh aku cari 'black & white" paper (journal la tu) on solar cell circuit inilah modeling yg aku akan ceburi..

haha kalu modelling cam kat atas, nanti en yusdi terkejut badak pulak kang, mengucap panjang apa sudah jadi kat bini dia, tension sangat kahh buat phd sampai ke situ peginya..

apa apa pun takdanyaa dapat nak berfoya foya berjoli katak, entry ini pun hanya nak sedapkan hati sendiri yg agak panik mikirkan camne pulak aku nak study modelling aspect nii..aku takda background engineering..emmhh takpa, redahh je laa



semoga aku berjaya...


sekian.terima kasih

p/s:thanks noor, kekdg memang semabo sket my english spelling, (joint-join) ikut sedap mulut sendiri jekk..