i want her to be my IDOLA

Prof Dr Muhaya Haji Mohamad

i heard her voice again today in IKIM.FM talking about "Islam Itu Indah"..she gave a lot of inspiration to me..

i said 'again' cause, about 3 weeks ago, while driving to UM, i heard her talking in IKIM about " Islam Itu Indah in Children Version" ..how to teach our kids about dicipline to Islam, to behave as Muslim and Muslimah, etc...and she really caught my heart with her simple explanation, full of beautiful words, loaded with advices and related to Al-Quran verses..and i was impressed, very much impressed with her guides and suggestions on how to become better muslim..she reminds about being a humble person in whatever career we are into..work because of Allah, be beneficial to others..thats why we live in Allah's world...

and today, she talked in focusing on how to become a successful medical student .... still a lot of points i got eventhough i am not a medical student, because for me, her content of talk was so close to any muslim and muslimah which have careers...how to become a better muslim-with-career..

she always relates the advices to Allah's command, Al-Quran and stressed that if we want to be a better person in anything we do as a doctor a teacher, etc..we need to be a better muslim first..

she said she always reminds her medical students to not being arrogant (sombong) when becoming a doctor, treat the patients with respect and empathy, if possible, gave the patients motivation to be close to Allah, remind them to not forget to solat, because when we take good care of what Allah's command, Allah will take care of us..she emphasized that if any of her students become arrogant and look at the patients as somebody who gave burden( membebankan) to them, she will not HALALKAN any knowledges (ilmu) that she taught them...

because for her, patients are somebody special that have been chosen by Allah, perhaps, Allah loves them more, thats why Allah gave them some tests to rise their level di sisi Allah, she said "who are we (she meant 'the doctor') to treat them badly, arrogant to them, while Allah always look at them with full of love"...masyaAllah, i never thought in that way....

and personally as a lecturer myself, i stunned with her saying that as a lecturer to medical students at HUKM she always be helpful, friendly to her students..she said if we help somebody today, meaning helping other people's daughters and sons today to be successful in their studies, InsyaAllah, somebody else will help our children, our grandchildren in their studies in future.....wow so touching ..

InsyaAllah i will apply her advices in my work...

she also gave some ideas on how to make our live more easier in getting more rezeki, getting success in work and study, getting a good spouse...are:-

1- to be humble to people
2- respect other people no matter how ugly, how smelly, how worst their condition
3- always gave something to the poor people (bersedekah),
4- always pray (doa)...

and not to forget

5- always obey Allah's commands..perform good solat, cover the aurat,
6- be nice to your parents and the older people

insyaAllah, Allah will look at us with full of love and help us in reaching our dreams

As a head department (pakar mata) at HUKM ( if i am not mistaken) she always make sure that the stafs under her supervision will perform solat, if you didnot perform solat, don't work with me, she said...

and surprisingly she is from Kuala Terengganu...my my...i am so proud of her...:P

the address below is her website address:we can find her background details, her work details and what her latest activities, etc...

http://www.drmuhaya.com/

she is constantly invited by IKIM.FM on tuesday / wednesday around 10 am to give a talk on "Islam Itu Indah" in different perspectives, careers, views, etc

and also she have her own show at Astro Prima on Friday at 7pm,repeat on Saturday at 6.30pm and sunday at 930am...

i will try to follow her shows and talk in tv and radio to get more beautiful tips, guidances, motivations from her talk insyaAllah ..she is definitely an idola...

JANGAN PANDANG BELAKANG..don't look back

its not about ghost, or haunting story..

as a normal human being created by Allah SWT, we have our bright and dark moments in our life, for the bright memories, its good to hold them as a motivation for us to face the future, but what about the dark memories...??

some of it, we managed to let go, but some stay in our heart and mind, no matter how hard you try to forget, to resist but they still there...

last night i saw my sister who now divorced downloaded her wedding and engagement pictures which happened long ago in FB, at that time something click in my mind " poor her, looks like she couldn't let go that memories yet..the time when everybody were dressed you with a beautiful dress, make you beautiful, talk to you nicely, teasing you about you and your future husband, well i do understand because that moments were the best ever happen to any woman...but for her it was a sad ending and she just won't let it go..

she is a good sister, always there for her other siblings, especially me and my eldest sis..most of the time to help with the kids, she is there when i am sad, i can just call her and go to her house for a time break..she is a good daughter to our parent, being very helpful , she is a good auntie to her nieces and nephews..quite popular..

i wish she will be strong and move on, plan her own life for a better future, no matter she will remarry or not, i really hope she will not look back..because in my personal humble opinion..no matter hard we try to seek for man's love, we have to love our self first and i definitely don't think by looking at those pictures will help her to love herself, i am afraid she will always looking back and tired to move on..Allah please give her strength and guide her to seek for your love, YA Allah amminnn..i pray to Allah that she will meet someone who really appreciate her as she is and will guide her to reach for Allah's love , because i always believe Allah knows best..

and then i wondered, do i have any bad moment/s, what was my dark moment/s..surprisingly i can't remember any!!! am i so lucky not having any bad experience...no i don't think so..i have some actually..after thinking about it for a while yess i do have some bad moments in my life :-

in 1996

1- my leg was hurt badly while moving my stuffs at my first rented house at Bangi - i worked at MARA college at BAngi after graduates..(my very first job:))..and i couldnot manage to go back to terengganu because of that..and to add to it, my ex-roommate at that time don't even bother about my situation ..she was so mean,pitiless..hemm..i called my mom and cried on the phone saying that i couldnot get on the bus because i can't walk, and i remember at that time my eldest sister was there, and she cried too...

2- i was staying with this cruel mean roommate for about 3-4 months, and she was treated me very badly, i tried to win her heart, respected her and listened to everything she said, but it seems not enough to her, anytime she was in bad mood, she scolded me heartlessly like someone who has no value at all, she treated me like rubbish..yess that is the right words for that moment..i really hate it until now..and yess i can't let it go yet.. i know that at that time i am still like a kid who was not mature in my actions and doings, and she was away too senior than me , my age at that time was 23 and she was almost 30 ..but as far as i am concern i always respect her and had done nothing wrong..but i always not good for her..as a roommate and also officemate , i felt so unhappy but don't know what to do..until one day i decided to run from that house, i left the house after telling another housemate to settle all the bills on my behalf, gave her some money, and i took half-day leave and packed all my clothes, and heading to my sister's house at Kg Baru...

at that time i felt so free and alive..i will NOT allowed anyone like her touching my soul like that again, it won't happend again..i felt like i am back, me..the one and only me who always happy go lucky, smiling, energetic.. was backkk...

i realised that , at that moment, she had taken all my happy + good soul.. she sucked it all and change me to a person who full of sadness, not-confident, always feel afraid and always thinking that i am a bad person...

but after i managed to run from her and found happiness at my sister's house, i am glad that all the horrible feelings were gone in a blinking of eye...i got myself back , even though i am still working at the same place but i am happier, i got rid of her, even sometimes we met because of meetings and discussions on students welfare..i just act normal like nothing happened..i am happy that i am strong enough to not ever let her ruined my beautiful life ...

2-in the same year while staying at my sister's house - i had been a hand-bag-snatcher victim while walking at dawn from the house to the bus stop to catch a bus to Bangi ..i need to get the earliest bus from kg Baru to Kotaraya and from Kotaraya to Bangi..so its still dark at that moment...

3-in 1999, i lost my first baby after 8 months married, i lost the baby in my 2 months pregnancy, after waiting for quite sometime...anyway when looking at my 3 kids' faces now i know that, Allah knows what best for me...

what else...i can't recall any other bad moments..thats all i guess..but i admit i still can't let go the first (number 1) moment.. but i hope one day, my heart will widely open to really forgive her in whatever she did to me..i still can remember some of her mean and cruel words..that make me felt like i am useless..for her..its HARD to forgive and to forget...

i won't look back at that bad moments, i left them with HER who created the BAD MEMORIES

like what my younger brother said as a comment for my sister entry in her FB:-
jangan pandang belakang, ada atu..hihihi....:)))

..in third moment (number 3), i always believe in Allah SWT, and Qadha' & Qadar..and with my 3 kids i have now, its like a power eraser which deleted all of that memory completely, Allah replace the lost baby with these 3 adorable kids who are the light of my life now..

so what about the good memories, the bright moments..oww i can't list them here, i have a lootttt of good memories..it will take forever:P...but i hold to them tightly, i bring them together with me now and hopefully until i die as the precious gifts from Allah SWT..knowing that Allah knows best and Allah loves me...

i pray to Allah SWT for Your Blessings ANd Love..Please open my mind and heart to be strong to accept all the challenge moments in my life and please help me to be a BETTER ME as a muslimah, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend ...i am so weak and lost without Your guide and love..You are the One and Only ..Lailahailallahh..Muhammadurrasulullah...

ALL THE GOOD ARE FROM ALLAH SWT AND ALL THE WRONG AND MISTAKES WERE FROM MY VERY OWN WEAKNESSES.....

~peace~

jess and rory

aku layan youtube lagu M.Nasir semalam saja nak menghiburkan hati yg kacau..pastu teringat citer Gilmore Girls(GG).. karekter Jess and Rory...aku google nama ni dapatlah banyak clips the moments of jess and rory, siap ada buat ranking top 15 lagi...

GG ni kisah Lorelai dgn anaknya Rory(si comel) duduk kat Stars Hollow Hartford hidup secara sederhana walaupun keluarga Lorelai ni kaya raya..tapi tak sesuai dgn jiwa Lorelai..so kisah suka duka hidup dua beranak ni lah...kisah cinta,persahabatan,semangat,kehidupan.tak terlalu serius,spontan sinis selamba...dulu time asyik layan citer ni kat tv, suami aku selalu komplen..apalah tengok citer camni, dahla karekter dia cakap cepat cepat...memang semua pelakun dia especially Lorelai, Rory,Luke,Jess cakap laju dan menyampuk pun laju2,suami aku kata tak faham...hihihi...

aku paling suka citer GG ni masa time Rory dgn Jess sedang develop love story mereka..sangat menarik,natural,kelakar,selamba,comel,menyentuh hati,gila-gila,ego.....

~suka gambar nihh~

so bila tgk beberapa clips semalam..senyum sesorang...how i miss the series...kalau bleh aku nak cari cd yg tunjuk babak diorang dua orang ni je masa bergaduh, bercinta, pisah,jumpa balik, masa control ayu + macho, masa tunjuk ego masing2...comel,selamba,kelakar..dan sebenarnya aku percaya pernah berlaku kat sapa sapa je .....time muda2 dan mentah dalam soal hati...

aku duk pilih plih mana babak yg paling aku suka..aku takleh decide cause almost all scenes are unique and hv its own soul...so its nice to know yg aku boleh download je clips scene jess and rory ni bila bila aku rasa nak tgk dan miss karekter diorang...:)))

M disease

semalam jiwa ada sikit kacau..sket je..dah tua tua ni takleh fikir lebih lebih sangat, nanti makin cepat tua...muhammad tido awal belum pukul 9pm...kakak berdua selepas ngaji dan buat kumon aku bagi diorang layan tv...aku...?? mula mula layan study, yelah seminggu dua ni asyik susah hati sebab rasa lost, baca jurnal pun cam tak ada kesudahan, konon baca sebab nak edit proposal, entah apa yg nak diedit..pun aku tak tau..tapi sebenarnya bukan tak tau, masalahnya aku yang tak benarkan diri aku tau..heh apa punya ayat daaaa...

actually aku sedang dilanda penyakit M**** yg sangat kritikal..M*** dalam semua aspek...ha kau...tu dia..aspek apakah yg dimaksudkan dalam ayat 'semua aspek' itu..??

bagi keadaan aku sekarang ni semua aspek itu meliputi:-

1- aspek aku sebagai seorang pelajar, aku Malas nak membaca/study,membuat kerja kerja ilmiah untuk membaiki/menambah ilmu pengetahuan..(waahh tulis ni pun dah rasa cam ilmiah gitu ehemm..:)

2- aspek aku sebagai emak dan wifey...aku Malas nak buat keje keje ke'ibuan' dan kerumahtanggaan ni..anak ajak sembang aku ngangguk je, husband citer2 aku iyekan aje, dapur rumah pun tak berasap..heheh..muhammad suruh cebukkan berak, aku mengeluh panjangg..kain dah basuh selonggok buat tak nampak je...aduiii...

3-aspek aku sebagai driver di jalan..aku Malas nak bagi signal kalau tukar lane, orang cut lane aku , aku malas nak hon, nampak debu kat karpet kereta, malas nak sapu/buang..

4- aspek aku sebagai manusia yg perlu makan minum, malasnya nak makan, apatah lagi masak,(wink**) makan pun malas...mandi ala kadar je asal badan rasa segar sket..takda beriya mem'berus' bagai macam biasa....

5-aspek sosial aku...malas nak bertegur sapa, cth: gi lab kat UM pun aku hai hai sorang dua, pastu sumbat telinga layan laptop...orang keliling bersembang bagai nak rak aku buat muka toye je...terserempak dgn student biasanya suka senyum, ni boleh pulak aku corner patah balik tukar jalan, sebab malas nak beri senyuman...

huuh apa lagi, pendek kata memang penyakit M sedang melanda aku dengan GIAT SEKALI sekarang, dan kerana sebahagiannya melibatkan orang lain maka ada orang yg nampaknya telah menunjukkan tanda2 TIDAK SUKA dengan penyakit aku ini....jiwa pun kacau...

aku pun frust dan tak suka dengan penyakit ni, tapi aku nak buat camane..(ni ayat org suka berdalih...lantaklah!!!) doa doalah moga moga tak berpanjangan..

kepala tengah fikir apa agaknya yg boleh jadi ubat supaya penyakit ni sembuh dan aku bertukar menjadi rajin..pls note , aku tulis "bertukar menjadi rajin" dan bukannya "KEMBALI menjadi rajin" kerana aku tau sebelum ni pun aku bukannya rajin sangat cuma ...TAK MALAS...:PP

so semalam sedang jiwa kacau, dan anak anak semua dah tidur, aku stopkan kerja study aku tu..dan mulalah menjelajah ke dunia youtube..mula mula cari video klip M.Nasir...layan lagu Mustika..fuhh bahagia...pastu teringat citer Gilmore Girls...

aku doa mohon pada Allah SWT tolonglah hapuskan penyakit M** ni...aminn

dapat dah

alhamdulillah, akhirnya penantian menjadi nyata..heheh..kisah beli kereta dgn ejen 'M' dah lepas dan tak di ingat dah camne bengangnya...sekarang dah dapat bendanya di depan mata..dan kerana adik pinjam kenari comel aku, maka akulah bermaharajalela menggunakannya sekarang..muahahahah..


tarikh ambik kereta, eh dah lupalah..ow ye sabtu lepas which means 16 oct 2010..sebulan sebelum birthdate ..well tu suami aku katala..aku tak ingat pun, baguslah dia ingat kannn..:P



2 hari ni struggle masuk parking..tapi oklah sebab depan belakang ada sensor so bila agak2 terlebih muncung tu tak takut sangat sebab bunyi bingit tu akan warn aku cam reverse sensor juga...


bawak dia beeest..se'best ' membayar nya..aduhh telan air liur 50 kali pun tak rasa hilang dahaga lagi..


harap suami berpuas hati ...duit simpanan dia dan duit kerja kat melbourne akhirnya dia dapat beli kereta idaman..okla kann..asal dia BAHAGIA..aku pun tummpangg bahagia hehehh..

ni gambar special utk adik noor..saja nak tau tahap ke'jeles'anmu iteeiiwwww..tunjuk bontot dulu yee..nx time ambik gambar lagi

apa apa pun, aku suka..nombor platenya cantik dan ada makna..hangus rm200 nak dapat nombor tu..what to do,sume benda nak kena ada duit..tapi duit bukan segala galanya..

nombor tak boleh tunjuk atas sebab2 keselamatan of course..

bagi aku ni memang kereta paling lawa pernah aku tengok, macam tak percaya dalam duduk kagum tengok kereta ni atas jalan, akhirnya dapat juga menjadi hal milik sementara..yelahh..dalam geran tulis "Hakmilik M**** Bank" sebab still under loan..

so kereta ni sebenarnya bukan hak kami lagi, status dia adalah = "kereta pinjam"

Sekian.

angels fall - nora robert

hepinya hati sebab dpt tgk citer ni kat tv hari ni..citer ni salah satu dari beberapa novel yg aku sempat baca kat melbourne..dan antara yg paling top.citernya sgt best..now on tv..huihh excited..

reece the cook - heather locklear (betul ke eja)..
si brody - entah apa namanya..but same as describe in the novel..

wow..bestnya

M sbg salesman

dalam 2 hari berpuasa hari tu kami decide gi cari kereta, yela takkan nak pakai kenari kecik tu je..kena ada satu lagi yg selesa sket..

ni nak citer kisah seorg M sebg salesman kereta..
orgnya baik, sentiasa tersengih, aku dgn suami fikir waahh bagus ni mesra pelanggan je nampaknya..suami buat special request, nak deal dgn salesman M, lelaki so ni lah dia..

aku pun sedap hati la ni,langsung tak fikir tipikal,macam selalu orang cakap.. biasanya dgn org M susah nak dpt tepat pada masa, lembap buat kerja, tak mesra...aku dan suami cuba tak nak fikir cam tu..nak tolong bangsa la ni kununnya..

so lepas discuss2,pilih kaler segala, dia gerenti akan dapat sebelum raya..bila balik rumah selang sehari dua, ter'discuss' plak dgn suami, setuju nak tukar kaler, sebab tak nak nampak kotor la, dan berbagai alasan terbit..suami pun call balik dia ni, cakap boleh tak nak tukar kaler..

oohh dia balas balik, boleh no problem..sepatah tu je..so kami pun senang hati lalalala...

ni dah hari selasa, lagi 2 hari raya, plannya esok rabu nak balik..2 hari lepas dia sms kata insyaAllah kereta keluar isnin so hari rabu boleh ambik..aku dah rasa tak sedap hati, rabu plan nak balik kampung dah, rabu baru ambik kereta, pukul berapa ambik kereta tu..so suami kata takpa, dia call, baru kejap tadi sebelum aku tulis entry ni suami call dia..dia kata kereta tak keluar isnin tapi baarruu keluar pagi tadi...so KALAU SEMPAT PETANG RABU boleh ambik..

hahh hambikk kauuu..tanpa khabar berita lepas sms yg last tu dia dengan berlenggang kangkung senang hati cakap camtu..kalau tak sempat, khamis petang keluar, camne? kami ni nak balik kampung bila wahai encik salesman..pagi raya????

aku sebenarnya takda kisah pun kalau tak balik raya dengan kereta baru, bukannya nak tunjuk kat orang pun..aku boleh menagih simpati adik2 aku pinjamkan kereta diorang.hehehh..

yang aku bengang sikap salesman M ni...dahla asyik suami aku je yg kena call dia, cakap pulak sepatah sepatah macam ada emas dalam mulut, kalau tang dia asyik sms memanjang, cam tak berani call je...

wahai encik salesman M:-

kalaulah kau lebih ringan mulut dan explain sedetail detailnya setiap perkara ..kang ke senang keje kau dan keje aku???

aku tanya suami , ke sebab kita tukar kaler jadi lambat??? well kalau sebab tukar kaler lambat dapat, explainlahh kat kami ni, yg tak tau menahu proses yg terlibat, ni tak..bila tanya bleh tak tukar kaler..cehh jawab NO PROBLEM...

dia ni aku rasa, dia anggap customer ni pulak lagi arif hal proses kereta ni dari dia, tunggu biar kita tanya sebutir sebutir..masalahnya manalah aku tau nak tanya kau hapa wahai encik salesman MM wehhh..kau la tolong explain, kalau tukar kaler ni akibatnya cam ni cam tu kaa, ..apa kaa

ni memang geram sangat...suami kata, maybe dia takut kita taknak beli dengan dia, hangusla komisyen nya..tulaa..takut tak bertempat, cuba bersikap terbuka sikit jujur citer benda yang sebenarnya...ni cam semua nak sorok sorok, bagitau no problem je...sekarang nahh biggg problem lahh, sebab dah rasa tak percaya kat dia..

suami call dia tadi, lepas dia dah bagitau semua dengan suara tersekat sekat, siap boleh tambah lagi, ooo en nak buat balik raya ye??...ayyoo memangla nak buat balik kampung sebab tu aku beli cepatt...tapi bukan masalah nak kena buat balik jugak kereta ni..aku dengan suami memang tak kisah pun, kalau dia terus terang bagitau, kereta ni tak dapat sebelum raya lepas en balik raya insyaAllah ada..takpe, boleh iktiar pinjm kereta adik....suami dah explain kat dia camtu, tapi dia kata boleh boleh no problem..

so kami takda la nak tanya adik2 lagi nak pinjam kereta ke apa ke...kalau dia explain betul2 senang boleh tanya adik2 cepat2, ni takut diorang pun dah ada plan lain ...

so aku cakap dgn suami, tolongla gi jumpa dia ni cakap tak yah susah susahla nak usaha sebelum raya, nanti kang entah apa apa jadi dgn kereta tu, yg dia janji kan utk kereta tu nanti hilang entah ke mana...so kami akan try tanya adik beradik utk pinjam kereta...lepas raya pun tak da hal bagi kami..

moral of the story...carilah salesman yg ringan mulut, biar banyak bercakap..takpa daripada dapat yg macam kami ni , kami yg kena fikir apa lagi nak tanya dia ni, kalau tak angguk geleng je kerja dia..lain sepatah sepatah..adussss..sakit jiwa raga di buatnya...sampai suami kata serik deal dengan bangsa M ni...tu aku tak nak komen sebab aku pun M kan.apa apa tercalit ke muka sendiri juga..

suami memang la lebih bengang sebab dia kerja line marketing juga dan dia totally different, selagi boleh explain dia explain, pegangannya anggap customer tak tau apa apa, dan kita kena bagi sebanyak mana infos supaya customer boleh buat keputusan yg bijakk..

so camane..adakah tidak bijak tindakan suami memilih salesman M ini, atau memang salesman ni yg tak bijak...heh

sekian..selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin