countdown best punya!!

aah tak sabarnya nak balik best nya, dan yg menarik juga kerana balik ni bukan saja dapat lepas rindu pada keluarga dan foods, tapi dapat juga gi PTK dan husband pun dapat gi kursus lesen remisier dia..kebetulan yang sungguh indahhh...8 hari lagi ye..tak sabar nya..rasa macam dah malas nak buat apa2 nak melayan perasaan je, tapi tak bolehlahh, aku mesti berpijak di bumi nyata, agak sukar juga nak menetapkan hati dan terus tumpukan minda pada studi sahaja..

hakikatnya memang ada aje kerja yang masih tertangguh..yg paling kritikal adalah :-
- nak cari info tentang mask utk 4-probe ni,perlu ke tak perlu...
-collect literatures utk isi borang confirm
-nak pakat2 dengan student PG kat lab level 9 tu utk clean-up satu fumehood yg tak dipakai..sebab aku nak pakai..

Dr K (bukan Dato' K ye) suruh aku cakap je kat student2 kat lab itu ajak kemas2, aku kata, " impossible they will listen to me..." tapi dia balas balik..
" Believe me, if you tell them, they will listen to you.."

..ehh lain macam je bunyinya..apa maksud dia sebenarnya..aku macam nak tanya nak tanya, " what do you mean Dr??"..tapi tak terkeluar..nampak muka aku ni macam garang sangat kahhh.. at last aku mintak juga2 dia tolong bagitau, dan aku tak kisah kalau aku kena buat sorang2 pun tak apa...hemm..

mengeluh sebentar mengenangkan nak kena deal benda2 remeh ni dengan mereka semua..guys, so far aku sorang je female yg guna lab tu bersama lebih 10 male students..memang aku rasa sukar sangat,
aku memang kena kuatkan semangat, cekalkan hati, kena be gentle but firm ekk?? yang aku pasti aku kena berani bersuara..speak out loud, tak boleh simpan dalam hati..diorang ni semua jenis yang terus terang, tapi ada cara2 lah nak terus terangkan..kena sorry dulu, kena puji2 dulu, bagitau positif2 dulu..then baru the worst part..

part ni memang nak kena polish lagi banyak, aku masih tergagap gagap, terkial kial,satu nak susun ayat, satu perasaan malu + "segann" menebal sangat..kena practice banyak2..apakata practice kat rumah dulu dgn husband...habisla kalau semua benda nak terus terang..sanggup ke aku mendengarnya dan meluahnya..kekekeh....

tapi apa apa hal pun, aku masih dapat tetapkan hati utk buat kerja yg aku mampu buat sekarang, cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak menagguh kerja, tapi kerja yg boleh tangguh aku tangguhlaa..nak balik youu,taknak beban kepala banyak2 benda..so aku kena kuatkan semangat lagi untuk another week before fly back to malaysia..5 hari lagi utk buat kerja, so kerja betul2 apa2 yang boleh buat dulu..buat je..so akan datang senang..bersusah dahulu bersenang kemudian lah katakann....

confuse--nervous

yesterday, at 11am, me, my sv and Isv have a discussion with another professor which his main interest is in sensors but recently try diverging in sc research. he attended the discussion with 2 of his students, one of them is focusing on sc but in different design.

my Isv is very determine,he is the one who do the talking, i kind of left behind by him which i felt fine cause i am not the one who giving this idea, my idea is only on enhancement of one part of the cell, and he came up with a lot of ideas on how to do it...the professor asking some questions on why , how, where to do this and that, and my sv and Isv like discussing together, and of course sometime pointing on me, but most of the time i didn't have a chance to say anything..sooo..i just stay put, and be a good 'listener'

and surprisingly i noticed that my Isv kind of changing my initial intention of this research, i am not sure whether he knows what he said, but i need to confirm this with him next week..

and, as usual, after every meeting, i will be given new tasks, which almost all of them are not relevant to each other, not in sequence with the previous plan,..in short, it is something NEW!!!!
i need to dig & search for literatures, back to square 1, and maybe, i also need to collaborate with the prof to set-up an 'old' equipment to start my sample deposition...

aarrgghh..it makes me nervous, do i have enough time to try all of these suggested methods first before really focusing on only 1 or 2...and the equipment,chemicals..it surely takes time and it really makes me sick!!

it makes me confuse to think of different methods at the same time, and which materials involve, since at the first place, i am only planning to focus on 2 materials and compare to the standard sample from industry, but then in the discussion, MORE than 3 materials pop-up from my Isv's mouth and i guess also from my sv's..

aaarghh....

meeting at the research centre

finally the day was come..yesterday friday, i went to the research centre with my "I' sv by train until reach Camberwell, and my SV fetched us and went to the RC..

we arrived about 10 minutes to 11am and we waited at the canteen for my second sv because he was at another building at that moment we arrived, and my SV asked if i want a coffee, looks like he wants to pay for it:) but i kind of felt ashame at that time and suddenly i told him, 'thanks Prof, i am not a coffee type of person..'( at the same time, i am pretty much sure that i heard myself laughing at me..hahahah..):(..

never mind...terlepas belanja kopi..actually i got panic when he asked, 'how would you like your coffee??'..and i totally have no idea how to respond..with sugar and milk?, white?, black?..how?? how to respond when people asked you that question..fuhh..i need to ask someone about this...kiv

then my second sv arrived, we chatted for a while and he told us about his/their recent project..and then he accompanied us to visit their new labs at another building which used to be a coffee warehouse before the RC took over..

we visited the cleanroom and the fabrication lab again, it looked fully utilised compared to our last visit last year, and i really excited and wish i can get some opportunities to work there, using all the new equipments, glove box, etc..

we discussed some more on my research and my second sv advised me to really look deeply into the concrete reasons of choosing any material in this project and have to make sure that i have all the strong reasons recorded, cited, and completely understand of their function, advantages, disadvantages..

we agreed on the steps of the project, some synthesize works at the uni, and testing at the RC..

i really glad and felt relief that we achieved that kind of agreement, even though at the first stage of the meeting, i am quite confused with all the things that my second sv talked about and how my SV and 'I' sv responded to him, but at last, its became clearer and eased my 'dizzy-ness'...

i didn't got time to take picture of us although i tried several times, they seems to keep chatting with each other and plan for another bigger project together, will apply for new funding..blabla bla..well never mind, i still have ample time to do that..

as a conclusion, i really treasure and grateful, we had that meeting, and its kind of a push gear that motivates me in doing my work.and hopefully with Allah wills and blessings,i will have enough strength to keep 'going', insyaAllah